Havin' a House Party

Woo yeah this is how to ring in the new year! Nothing better then a House party! And by House party, I mean me cuddled up on the couch with the second season of House :)
Happy New Year everyone! Hope you all had a great time!

Nadine's challenge of the day

Well looky here... I figured out how to post videos on youtube! See what happens when I have some time off :)

Enjoying my break

Am I ever glad we have two weeks break! So far I've been enjoying ever minute of it.
Snowshoeing was awesome! Nadine and I had such a great time. Being the road conditions weren't favorable there weren't too many people on the trails so it made for a really peaceful walk. Sometimes when we'd stop and listen, all we could hear was our own breath and the falling snow. It was so tranquil. Sure Nadine and I had to goof around a bit though. We went off the trails a bit (though not too far because it would be VERY easy to lose your way...) the snow was deep but light and fluffy so it was easy to fall (either that or we weren't so good at staying on our feet). It was tons of fun though. I am looking forward to doing it all again.
Yesterday Maggie and I went to see the Nutcracker performed by the Moscow Ballet! It was stunning! We were really fortunate because we were in the 1st row right in the middle. We were so close that we could see the crack in the pants of the main dancer. Their bodies are amazing! I spent probably about 1/2 the time analyzing their movements and thinking about how they trained, warmed up, stretched... etc. I was able to enjoy the show though... After the show Maggie and I went to the backstage doors because I wanted to ask the dancers a few questions about their training and things like this. We did talk to this one guy who was waiting for someone but... he didn't really speak English :) and well Maggie and I don't speak Russian so... oh well. We spoke for about 15 minutes or so and him and his buddy were quite interesting. They'd already done 28 shows around the US, Mexico and Canada. This was their before last day and they'd done two shows today so their legs were really sore. I asked what they did for their sore legs and they said beer and jacuzzi. Massage? Sometimes. Well there's my answer :)
It was funny because one thing that is universal is the two words "strip club". They understood that (they were asking about clubs in Vancouver... they are going to be here over new years) and they laughed, pointed at the Theatre doors and said "every day strip club... but no" and they pointed at their chest and made a flat motion with their hand. The the other makes a motion of big breasts with his hands and says "me like BIG seesters". Some things don't change no matter where you're from.
So today I'm taking it easy. On the 26th I started to get an itchy throat, 27th it was worse but I went snowshoeing anyways. I asked my body nicely to hang in there until the 29th when I'd have a day off (28th I worked). But I woke up on the 28th with a sore throat and a fever. Damn. Well in all fairness my body did give me two days warning. I spent all of the 28th watching the 1st season of House. I'm hooked! 29th I felt better but still a little rough so I cleaned my room and sorted and put over 500 photos in albums. Today more R&Ring... posting pics and creating a smugmug account for my pictures. Going to start the 2nd season of House and I'm going to sleep. Tomorrow until the 4th I am working every day. Not too sure what I am going to do for new years yet... I gotta work the next day so we'll see.

Christmas Cheer :)

Wow what a busy holiday season! It's been non stop since the 22nd but it's been great! This morning I am getting ready to go snow shoeing with my cousin Nadine! Neither of us have ever been so it should be a hoot. We're doing a "self guided tour" of the trails. After all how hard could it be? But first I have to hit up a sport store to get myself some snow pants... Apparently I shrunk or something cuz they don't fit me anymore. Bizzare. Ah well!
Grand Maman left this morning already but Christopher and Sarah are arriving tonight (just for a short visit). That's one thing about Christmas... I don't know what I like more... Christmas itself or the visit from family and friends. Afterall I only get to see Nadine, Chris and Sarah once a year.
Anyways time to get stuff together for our adventure in the snow!

Reason we're going to hell #766

In reference to the only time we went to church at Christmas time when we were really little. Dad and Mum gave us toys to play with during the midnight mass so we would be quiet.

"My GI joe killed your Jesus."

Reason we're going to hell #765

Grand Maman: God, blessed us with a beautiful sunny day for Christmas.
Steph: Of course it's God's son's birthday... "Here's a sunny day but I won't give you no poossay." He's God, of course he'll make it a nice day for his son!

How this makes sense, I don't know but it's fucking halarious! I love my brother :P

Charcot Marie Tooth Disease

This one had me confused for a LONG time! I didn't understand why it was called tooth disease when it has nothing to do with your teeth. It's actually in your feet and legs (sometimes in hand and arms). So I looked it up in all of my pathology text books (too many of them really, but I need them all cuz some are simplified, some are more elaborate, some are like a foreign language to me but we're supposed to be able to read em...).
Turns out it's called Carcot-Marie-Tooth Disease because it's Jean-Marie Charcot, Pierre Marie and Howard Henry Tooth that discovered the damn thing! Well then next time leave Howard Henry Tooth out of it because it confuses the hell out of me. Maybe it should be called Charcot Marie Howard Disease... then people won't associate it with some kind of pathology in the mouth. After all neuropathies can happen everywhere so it's no as if it's indicative of where it could be.
Anyways maybe that's only me who gets confused :) Time to go back to studying to unconfuse myself some more!

While searching for photos of this disease I found one of a mouse who has CMT Disease... Poor mouse! :(
He kinda looks like he's just chillin but his little feetsies are affected :(

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

Actually I'm dreaming of disease and medications and things like that... not a white Christmas. Not yet. And even then I'll probably be too tired to realize it's going to be Christmas soon. I will just wake up and it'll be here. Woo?
I was in a big funk two days ago (may not have seemed like it in my last post)... ended up crying myself to sleep. Fucking sucked. Couldn't really sleep so I blogged about what was bugging me. Being it may be too disclosing (not for me, for the other person who was involved) I didn't post it. Next morning I felt a bit better but it wasn't until after my pharmacology exam (which I think went very well) that I felt normal again. I'll stick by believing that writing about what is bothering you helps a lot. There's something about seeing your own writing and really thinking about it (and not suppressing it) that makes a world of a difference.
Grand Maman came in from Winnipeg yesterday. It's great to have her here for the holidays. It's the first time we've had Grand Parents (or Parent) here for the holidays. Luckily Mum has been keeping her busy so I can hid in my corner and study. Last exam is on Saturday. YAY!
Managed to go to the gym last night. Was impressed as to how disrespectful and mean some gym guys can be... but fortunately yesterday was my first encounter with this type. Was too tired to push myself at the gym so I only did half of my routine and then spent 30 minutes in the sauna. The French guy was there again so it made the time go by quickly. There was also a guy who had been in an accident (what kind, I didn't ask) and was slowly rehabbing from it. It was interesting because we talked about injuries and rehab and stuff like that. I don't know if the sauna at a gym is a good place to do networking... but I figure it's better then a bar.
Finished Grand Maman's x-mas present yesterday! It's amazing! I am going to make one for me. Haven't had time to take a pic of it yet. But will when I give it to her.
Been studying all day today. Took a break to go to the dentist (again). Ordered my camera (Canon Rebel XTi) today... YAY! I am hoping to get it before the new year! Tomorrow Pam is coming over so we can study together! :) I find it really helps to have someone to study with... certainly when there are subjects that are a bit harder to swallow... like neuropath.
Ok back to studying.

No corset for me today :(

Well I give myself props... I went lingerie shopping and came back empty handed! It's not that nothing fit... many things did. It's just hard to justify buying yourself some lingerie when you're single. But man was it tempting! Here I was with Maja who was trying some on herself and sending sexy texts to her boyfriend... kinda made me miss it.
On a totally different note the Canucks and devils are playing tonight and I am pretty stoked. So stoked that I think Pharmacology will go by the way side and I am going to have to watch the game. Hell it's going to be Luongo vs Brodeur! That's the two best goalies in the league! Now we get to see who's number one. Go Canucks Go!

Update: Luongo fucking rocks. Yes he does. Shutout 5-0. I am also going to rent the past seasons of House during this coming break. Now I am going to bed. Pharmacology exam tomorrow, I should have studied tonight but couldn't get myself to. Then again that's what getting up at 3am is for.

Surfs up

Vicki and I were talking about surfing (can't recall how this came up...) and I was encouraging her to go try sometime. I know I absolutely love it! Last time didn't go so well, I ended up falling off and some other surfer hit me right in the head with his surf board (spent the rest of the day and the day after regaining my grounds... stupid concussions).
But the first time I tried surfing was on 7 mile beach in Australia. While saying in Wollongong I decided to take a 5 day trip and learn to surf. Our days consisted with waking up with the sunrise, having a quick bite to eat, jumping into our wet suits, surfing for a few hours, go back for lunch, quick nap in the hammock, surf for an other few hours, back to camp, have dinner, wash salt off self, go to sleep to do it all over again. For 5 days in a row! It was amazing! Mind you constantly being wet for 5 days kinda gets to you. So does getting into a really cold, still wet and sandy wetsuit.
Anyways I dug up some pictures of me surfing and I was reminded of how much fun I had. In all the pictures I'm smiling (even the ones where I am face planting in the water).

Where am I going?

Over the course of the past year I've been changing a lot as an individual. I've learnt that there is more then one way to live life and my little sheltered existence was... well it was good for a while but it's time for me to break out of my shell and put myself into uncomfortable situations. It's with these uncomfortable situations that I find myself. That I see that I can stand my own.
I've also realized that my moods, my emotions and the path I chose is really my choice. Every morning I'm faced with a choice. To be happy and have a good day or be miserable. Yeah sometimes being miserable is the easy choice and that was a choice I made yesterday. Then it got me thinking. Why waste time being miserable? Did I achieve anything by it? No, actually I achieved less. So what's the point?
Same goes with health. It's my emotions and moods that form who I am inside (chemical balances and what not) and constantly bombarding myself with insecure, unhappy, sad thoughts poisons my being and makes me ill. I could go on about this one but I won't... not now.
So yesterday had me thinking... where am I going? I've thought about this quite a bit and was even encouraged to write down my dreams, goals and well essentially where I want to be in life. Until last night (when I was laying in bed, not being able to fall asleep because I had all of this on my mind) I didn't have the courage to do so. I was afraid that if I wrote down a goal or a dream and I didn't achieve it then I'd be a failure. And being it's in writing it would be a constant reminder of my failure.



But I've realized that goals change as we change. For now this might be where I want to be in a few years from now but I might discover something else that will become my passion. So really it's not a failure.
So where do I see myself going? I am going to graduate and become an RMT (registered massage therapist). I will travel to Africa and volunteer there for a few months. Whether it's working with people or with animals I am not too sure. I am going to be a doula and further my studies in women's health and pregnancy. I will open up my own multiple disciplinary clinic specializing in pregnancy and women's health. All the while working as a massage therapist, being happy and content. Eventually I'll have a family because really, my number one goal in life is to be a Mom.
How all of this will happen... I am not too sure. Every day I am sure I will have to make choices that bring me closer to these goals. And right now a choice that I am going to make is to continue studying for my finals this coming week. Tonight I'm going to treat myself to a few hours at the gym that way I can exercise my body and not just my brain. And then I'll be ready for my sport treatment written and oral practical tomorrow along with our final neuropathology class before our exam.



Pictures are from my trip to Australia:
Top: Magnetic Island, Mountains on Maggie (magnetic island) though old ruin I found hiking, sunset on Horseshoe Bay on Maggie
Middle: Lounging around while sailing the Whitsundays on a tall ship, An island in the Whitsundays
Bottom: Maggie and mainland Australia, Butterflies on Maggie, Sunset on mainland Australia from Fraser Island, Sunrise over our canoes in the everglades

Depuis j'traine sur le quai, j'regarde les trains au depart

My brother told me about this song by Grand Corp Malade. It's called Voyage En Train (Train Journeys). I found the lyrics in English because I believe it's worth sharing. So here they are.

Train Journeys

You could say that love stories are like journeys by train
And sometimes when I see those travellers I'd like to be one again
Why do you think so many people wait at the platform gate
Why do you think we stress so much when we arrive a little late

The train often pulls away when we least anticipate
And the love story carries you off from those who commentate
The commentators are your mates who say goodbye at the station
They watch the train pull away with a look of trepidation
You wave back at them and imagine their comments going around
Some say that you've made a mistake, that your feet aren't on the ground
Each one makes a prediction for how long the trip will last
Most of them think that the train will derail at the first stormy blast

Real love, it's no surprise, changes the look on your face
So, from day one you should carefully chose your place
A seat by the isle or next to the window glass
What do you chose, a love story in first or second class

The first few miles you can't take your eyes from her face
You barely notice out the window the passing green open space
You feel light, life is a flower and you're drinking her nectar
You feel so good that you almost want to kiss the ticket collector

But the magic only lasts a time, your story's running out of steam
You tell yourself you're in it for nothing, "it's all her fault", you want to scream
The trains rumble makes you drunk, you feel sick at each bend
You've got to get up, walk out and find a way for your heart to mend

Now the train slows down, it's already the end of your tale
And what's more you're like a fool, your mates are at the other end of the rail
You say goodbye to the one you'll now call your ex
In her address book, she whites out your name in tippex

So you see that love stories are like journeys by train
And sometimes when I see those travellers I'd like to be one again
Why do you think so many people wait at the platform gate
Why do you think we stress so much when we arrive a little late

For some life is all about catching the train
To feel love and to feel their energy bubbling like champagne
For others the aim is to arrive with time to spare
To have a safe trip and to live without a care

It's easy to catch a train but make sure you pick well
I got into two or three but not the right carriage , I could tell
For trains are temperamental, some you try to reach but fail
And I don't always think it's possible on network rail

For some the trains are always on strike ,or so it seems
And their love stories only exist in their dreams
Others jump on the first train without paying attention
But, of course, they get off disappointed at the next station
Still others stress about commitment as they're over-emotive
For them it's too risky to hold onto the locomotive
And there are the adventurers who take trip after trip
Once one story is over, to the next page they flip

I suffered for months after my only real journey
We both agreed to leave but she agreed more then me
Since then, I hang out on the platform, watching the trains pull away
Some doors open, but for now it's on the platform I'll stay

It seems that train journeys end badly more often then not
If that's the case for you hang on, don't tie your heart in a knot
Because one thing is for certain there will always be a termin-us
Now you've been warned, next time take the bus

The french version is still better but that's how it goes with most translated things.

We both agreed to leave but she agreed more then me
Since then, I hang out on the platform, watching the trains pull away
Some doors open, but for now it's on the platform I'll stay

Replace she with he and I think that's why this song has marked me.
Well tomorrow's an other day full of studying. I best get to bed. Rest is good.

It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside.

No, I don't have an upset tummy, a cold or anything else that could make me feel physically funny. It's more of an emotionally funny feeling one that I am not too sure if I should do anything with. Something to do with my vagus nerve I imagine :P Ah though I won't worry about it now. There's studying to be done.
I'm currently finishing up a projects for my Research and Statistics class and it's really quite interesting. We had to read a research paper and has to summarize it. Write whether the paper was trying to discover, prove or disprove something and why. It's really introducing the idea that osteopathic treatments* when used with progressive muscular relaxation** is effective in treating tension type headaches. Then we had to write about the economic burden due to this research and then the third part was the social benefits of this reasearch and last but not least how is this relevant to our profession as registered massage therapists.
I'm now working on the last part and this is where I got carried away. I looked at what osteopathic treatments include (modality/technique wise) and then compared it to massage therapy. Found that there are many similarities. I then looked at the list of continuing education for massage therapists (it's mandatory that all registered massage therapists complete a certain amount of credits every two - I think it's two... - years) and boy I can't wait to take some of these courses! Courses like Massage therapy for the childbearing years (a 5 part course!!! woo!), osteopathic approach to feminine balance, Cranioscaral (Many many classes for this modality) and myofascial (also has many classes) to name a few (there's 20 pages of courses that one can take). It's the specialization that I think I will find interesting. Not that what I am learning now is not interesting, it is. It's just not what I am interested in doing.
Ok back to research project... then more studying. Maybe gym tonight if I'm good (didn't have time to go yesterday too much running around... did everything though... well except for the gym.)
*Osteopathy: A system of medicine that is based upon the theory that the human body is a vital organism in which structural and functional states are of equal importance and that they body can rectify toxic conditions when it has favorable environmental circumstances and satisfactory nutrition.
**Progressive muscular relaxation: Based upon an ancient yogic practice called yog nidra, this is a guided, stress releasing process that is accomplished by leading the recipient step by step, muscle group by muscle group, moving from the feet up to the head, to experience the sensation of contreaction the subsequent relaxation or decreased intensity of muscle tension. (This releases tension and energises... or so they say, personally it puts me to sleep :) )

Sleep escapes me

After a long day of studying (10 hours), chores and baking I was really looking forward to a good nights sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. Being it's Thursday it's my running around day. I keep all of my running around for Thursdays so that the other days of the week I can stay committed to my study area.
I was hoping my mind would be too tired to think tonight... but that doesn't seem to be the case. I've tried all of my techniques to help me fall asleep and nothing has worked. I'll try writing about what's going on in my mind and maybe that will help.
I don't understand why I am feeling lonely. After Paul and I broke up (and once I got over it) I was loving being single. I was content and not looking for a relationship. Eric can attest to that because it took me forever to realize that he was interested in me. Somehow after the most recent break up I didn't go back to that loving the single life state. I am not miserable and I am not looking for a relationship. But I find myself being lonely, wanting to cuddle and day dreaming over mushy love songs.
Then there's my whole situation with Paul... I am glad this is settled because it had me a little worried. Over the past few weeks it seemed like Paul had been avoiding me and through the wonders of facebook a little news thingy told me that he was now in a relationship. I figured two might be related and asked him if it was. It turns out he was just busy and even though he is in a relationship he still wants to be friends.
The reason why this was especially touchy for me was that after Paul and I broke up and before Eric and I started dating, I met this guy who I contemplated dating... that was until he told me that he didn't feel comfortable with me talking to my exes. I had nothing invested and I valued my friendship with Paul more then I valued a potential relationship with this guy. It got me thinking... maybe that is why people aren't friends with their exes... future boyfriends or girlfriends may be intimidated by exes and... I dunno.
I know that I am somewhat intimidated by exes but I would never ever ask a current boyfriend to stop talking to their ex. First of all it's not my place and second I understand that this person meant something special to my boyfriend and for them to keep in contact is not a big deal.
Also silly thing are running through my head like how to best organize my day tomorrow so that I spend the least time in transit and the most time where I need to be. Also how I can get all my errands done in the least amount of time. Oh and don't forget to add *pick up Christmas cards, two gifts and pantie liners* on your to do list for when you're at metrotown.
How can I put together dinner tomorrow in a kitchen that I am not particularly familiar with. Will the pork chops be over marinated by the time he calls? Will protobello mushrooms be a good substitute for meat for me or will I need something else? The pork and the mushroom will have to be in separate dishes in the oven... will there be enough room?
And then there's Africa... Africa and compassion and empowerment and photography and calendars and and and... is all running through my head. This is an idea that is too green to talk about. If it develops I'll blog about it but I'm a dreamer... I get many ideas some of which develop (like backpacking Australia at 18 years of age) and some don't (like going to Europe a few years later).
Ok well I am still not tired and I have to wake up in 4 hours. Time to go read peoples blogs :)

Mrs. Muscle... well working on it.

After some marathon studying, I went to the gym with Craig. Now Craig has put together an exercise program for me and he was teaching me a few new tricks/exercises. We had tried this 2 months back and when he tried to get me to deadlift 65 lbs (or maybe it was 55, I can't remember) and I couldn't. I couldn't even get it off the ground. He took the weights off and I had a lot of trouble even lifting the bar.
Today though I deadlifted 65lbs! And I did it more then once! I couldn't believe it. I even did a few barbell squats... until my glutes started spasming :( Apparently my booty is not big with muscle... oh well I love it anyways. I've also gone from dumbell benching 10lbs to 15lbs... without rearranging my face (which I thought might happen once or twice).
I'm looking forward to my new routine at the gym. The other one was great though but it had been the same for two months... time to switch it up. I have a feeling though that these barbell squats and deadlifting will be exercises that I will love to hate.
Last time I was at the gym, Craig and I were supposed to meet up. I tend to get there a bit earlier because I work out for longer then he does (he doesn't do cardio... I do 45 minutes of it or so). I was doing my usual workout and I didn't see him come in. I kept working out until my muscles were spaghetti and I couldn't lift a single thing more. I then went into the change room to see if I had a message from Craig. Sure enough he was delayed with work and wouldn't be able to make it.
I then decided to go and spend a bit of time in the sauna. My logic was that by spending time in the sauna I would increase circulation to my muscles which would increase oxygen and nutrients to them which would decrease muscle soreness. Hey it couldn't hurt. Worst that could happen is I'd be relaxed and sore the next day. After 30 minutes in the sauna with some cold showers in between (contrasting also helps to increase circulation) and some stretching I came out feeling like a heap of jello. Not quite what I wanted to achieve.
That night I had trouble lifting the blankets to get into bed I was so sore. I wasn't particularly surprised... I did work really hard after all. I was a bit worried that I had over saunaed myself... but it felt great (other then the not being able to lift my own limbs). I had to wait and see what I'd feel like in the morning.
Come next morning I jump out of bed and... NO SORENESS! It felt like I had worked out but I was not sore. I could do all my daily activities without being reminded of the night before. So now I am experimenting with the sauna. Today I only spent about 5 minutes in it because Craig was done and ready to go. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Don't forget to breathe...

Why is it that when I am studying I often find myself holding my breath? It has gotten to the point where I have a little post it on my laptop that says breathe. Then I wonder why I get anxiety.

Frosty Rose

We've been fortunate that this winter has been a beautiful one. It feels like it's been colder but it is probably due to the beautiful clear days that we've been having. Being my travel time is when the sun rises in the morning and when the sun sets in the evening there's always gorgeous scenery on my way to and from school. I've always found it frustrating that I can't capture these moments into pictures because my POS camera is now an even bigger piece of shit because it's broken. So I'm left with my mobile phone.
On my way to school sometime last week, I came across this beautiful rose that had been walked on by morning commuters and then frozen because of the cold weather. Every time I look at the picture (it's set as my background on my mobile) I am reminded that it's really the little things in our lives that make it beautiful.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

Yeah, I just saw Moulin Rouge for the I don't know how manyth time. It's still as great as the first time... if not better. I've seen it so many times now that it doesn't make my cry (unless I'm PMSing... but then everything makes me cry) but it still leaves my heart aching. Funny how movies can do that. It also leaves me wanting to cuddle. Heck I always want to cuddle. More so now I guess.

Spaghetti Girls

Yesterday was the time again for more shenanigans at the Railway club. Initially a bunch of us were supposed to go out but being it's exam time and late on a Sunday, Pam and I were the only two that ended up going... and man what a fun night it was last night.
After swapping massages and an amazing dinner (yes, truly amazing... salmon, prawns, green beans, wild rice and Alsatian apple tart) we got ready to go the the Railway club. Here is discovered the brilliance of a diffuser! I'd never blow dry my hair because I would look like I stuck my finger in an electrical socket. Not the look I am going for. But shit... you put a diffuser on a blow dryer and like magic... you get gorgeous curls... I love having curly hair (when you know what to do with it).
Anyways we made our way to the Railway club. Eric had said to get there early because it's often busy. All the times I went there... there were people but I wouldn't say it was busy. Tonight it was! It was so packed, you had to squirm between people to get past. After about 10 steps, this is when I noticed the majority of the people there were women. By majority I mean I counted two guys. Then I noticed the poster behind the stage which read "Positive Women's Network" and Pam whispered something to me along the lines of something feminist. By this time, Pam and I were having a great time. Both of us were rather drunk, the music was great and all these ladies were so friendly.
I noticed that quite a few ladies had short hair... some were cuddling and even kissing. That's when the light went on. As if on cue, the singer introduced her next song. It was called Spaghetti Girl. Then she went on to ask the crowd if they knew what a spaghetti girl was. Most women replied no, while a few laughed. She went on to explain that a spaghetti girl was... a spaghetti girl is a straight girl "straight until you get them wet." :) The song was great too! Something about if your man don't mind something something... I was too drunk to get most of it or remember the name of the artist. Anyways so Pam and I were probably the only two spaghetti girls in the entire place.
The night went on and we met some pretty cool ladies. We found out that this is a yearly event that the Positive women's network puts on to raise funds for women in the gay community living with aids. The music was great! There were so many different artists (most went on for two or three songs) that it was impossible to catch a name or anything like that. Eventually Lauren met up with us and we had a glass of wine with her (well I didn't... I know my limit and I'd reached it). It was great to catch up with her! She then drove Pam and myself to Pam's place where we helped one of her roommates study for his Accounting final that he had today. In hind sight he probably wanted to kick us out of his room... two drunk girls taking over his books and helping him answer his review questions. But oh well.
This morning wasn't too rough... but I am feeling rather sore. Not too sure why. Having seen Steve and Josh (Pam's roommates) study so much it gave me anxiety because I have finals too. Pam kept reminding me that I had a reading week but that still didn't stop me from only having 4 hours of sleep before leaving her place to go back to mine to study. Damn... it's like a disease.

*smile*

Since 2000 I've been reading the sinfest comic strips... it's been a great distraction and has made me laugh many many times :) So here's to sinfest and keeping me well distracted for... 7 years :P

Vagus Nerve... What?

Compassion and the Vagus nerve... this is an assignment that I've been avoiding for... 3 months now. I've read the articles many times and they still don't make sense. I feel like the squirrel from ice age chasing it's acorn! Sometimes I get it but only for a short while before it escapes my grasp and I find myself chasing it again. By it I mean understanding the vagus nerve and how it relates to compassion.
Sure it makes sense that it would be related. After all the vagus nerve does innervate the heart, lungs and stomach (along with other things but these are the main organs) all of which are organs that come into play when emotions are involved. Scared - rate of breath increases, nervous - rate of breath increases, heart broken - heart aches... but then they go an throw in the polyvagal theory and other shit in there that has me really freaking confused!
Ah heck! I should stop blogging and keep wracking my brain. So far I've been working on this assignment for two hours tonight and I've managed to semi answer one question. I still don't think I'm on the right track but hell.

Silent night...

Yet an other upside to my new study area... it's right under the piano! Dad is playing Christmas music right now :) Normally I'd say it's too early for Christmas music. But it's just snowed and it's Dad who's playing so it's ok.
I'll keep writing my papers all while enjoying the music and my rooibos tea. I'm still working on my first assignment... I've gotten caught up in the research aspect of it! It's really neat. I'm researching maternal vitamin and mineral supplements, high potency vitamin and mineral supplements, oral contraceptives - specifically Diane-35 - and pessary contraceptives - specifically the NuvaRing - and the effects or modifications to massage therapy.

Tee Hee

As a break from studying I went to the gym with Eric. We both parted ways to get changed and once I was out of my snowsuit and into my gym wear I took a look around the gym to see if Eric was there. I couldn't find him but there was a mighty fine looking guy stretching on the mats. Sweet! Eye candy! I finished putting my things away, took a glance back at the guy on the mat before heading to the cardio machines and... well if it wasn't Eric. :) Well I guess somethings never change.
Must have been the new haircut (which I knew about but my goldfish like memory must have forgotten about).

Oh the weather outside is frightful...

Actually the weather outside is amazing (that's the view I have from my study area)! It's the mass of papers that is frightful really. I've been working on the multitude of assignments that are often due the week before finals. So far so good. None down (but many started) 5 more to go.
The snow is amazing! I want to out and play in it. I promised myself that if I was done all of my assignments before I see my client tomorrow I can spend the rest of the day playing in the snow. I am hoping to go snow shoeing but we'll have to wait and see about that. Not many people have Monday off except for Paul. Mind you I'd really like to go with Paul cuz then we get to bring Teako with us too. Ah I'll give him a call later.
Speaking of Paul. Yesterday we went to Uncle Steve & Auntie Marcy's place and their place was all decorated for Christmas and it was ultra snowy out there. It reminded me of the time we celebrated the November/December birthdays last year. It was such a great time spent with family and Paul and Teako were there too. I remembered taking a walk with Teako and Paul after dinner and running in the snow and laughing at our goofy dog. It was amazing. The snow covered everything and no one was out... just Paul, Teako and myself enjoying the snow and the evening. It's amazing how quiet things are when it's snowing.
Last night we also talked about Christmas and what it's going to look like this year (dinner at Uncle Steve and Auntie Marcy :) ) and I was reminded of the anxiety I had two years back when I spent my first Christmas with Paul. I didn't know how I could include both families. In the end it worked out fantastically. Our family celebrates mostly on Christmas eve and his on Christmas day. It was great spending time with both families. The traditions were different but they were great none the less. His family is very easy going and welcoming as well. It was really neat cuz last year on Christmas eve day we went up to Grouse for a sleigh ride and to go ice skating. It was quite stormy so we got stuck up on the Mountain for quite a few hours (I am tempted to say 5 or so but it may have been less... or more). I think we finally got down at 11 or so at night. His Mom was pretty embarrassed but I thought it was great!
Anyways I can't help but feeling like this Christmas will be a bit lonelier then the others but it'll be ok. I'm really looking forward to the 22nd. That's my last exam then I've got two weeks off. I'm also looking forward to curling up in front of the fireplace with a blanket and a nice glass of wine and just unwinding.
Ok enough day dreaming time to keep going with these papers. They don't write themselves!

Poor Kitty...

I'm sure I've blogged about Minette's obsession with water but this one really takes the cake. Minette has a thing for drinking out of water glasses. I had a water glass which was about 1/4 full on my desk next to my laptop. While reviewing for neuropath, Minette decided to have a drink. She and I know full well that she can't reach the bottom of the glass so I let her try (still kinda keeping an eye on her to make sure she doesn't spill... water and laptops don't mix).
Somehow today she managed to get her head in the glass and drink! Being it was incredibly cute, I tried to take a picture but while turning my laptop to face the cat and water glass I must have hit something and it startled her. She lifted her head which was stuck in the glass, poured water all over herself, jumped back in surprise and fell off my desk with the glass still on her head, shook off the glass of water and ran a few steps and then sat there, stunned looking at me laughing my head off.
After I finished laughing (this took a few minutes) picked up Minette and dried her with my sweater. Poor thing was soaking. But it was way too funny. Poor Minette. It's not nice of me to laugh at her misery.

Neuropath and headaches

So I've got yet an other neuopath midquarter tomorrow. On Wednesday in sport treatment class we worked on the upper limbs and this included work around the upper trapezius muscle. My upper trapezius and the muscles around it (mostly levator scapula and supraspinatus) are filled with latent trigger points. The key word here is latent... essentially they're like sleeping dragons. It's best to keep them that way, not to piss them off cuz when they wake up then they cause a horrible mess. Alas, you've guessed it... they got worked on and ever since Wednesday I've had a horrible headache. I know it's a trigger point/tension headache because it's all along the referral pattern for the trigger points that were activated. What makes it go away? Nothing. Time. Stretch and ice probably would because it's an indirect way of treating them. Right now my neck is so sensitive that even my bra straps make my head ache even more. Bleh! Oh well I know for next time.
This has made it impossible to study! I can't focus. I get sidetracked so easily and when I try to think it hurts... Anyways I've got to find a way to buckle down and study because neuropath has been giving me a really hard time (which is why I always blog about it because I'm always studying it and trying to understand it).
Ok now that I've whined, maybe I can study. Or maybe I'll go to bed and wake up at 3am. My headache doesn't seem to start until later in the morning anyways (well 9am later).

Baah Baah black sheep...

The weirdest thing happened today! I got on the bus and there was an other girl my age crocheting! I'd never seen anything like it. So I sat next to her, pulled out my crochet stuff and we crocheted and chit chatted for the entire bus ride. She informed me that every Wednesday night at three bags full on main street (which is a shop I've been avoiding for fear that my credit card will fly out of my purse and will magically buy everything that I want and don't particularly need) there's a knitting and crocheting group. Hells yeah man count me in! Sometimes people even bring snackies! Hey it's the little things ok :P
Then this afternoon when Maggie came over to "study" (we ended up making cookies and crocheting... maybe I should be Martha Stewart or something like that) she asked me if I could teach her to crochet. Her brother's girlfriend (or fiance, I forget) is pregnant and Maggie's so excited she wants to crochet a baby blanket for the little one. So this afternoon I taught her how. She picked up quite quickly and made her first granny square with the left over white yarn I had from the baby blanket I made. Maggie and I now have a date to go to this crocheting/knitting group after our exams... but only AFTER our exams cuz we have to study.
Today was productive, but not in a studying sense. I saw the naturopath again, dropped off my Mac (which they now want to keep it because of some... heck I don't know but they're keeping it for a while and I need it to study!), went to the orthodontist, met up with Maggie, made cookies, watched hockey & crocheted & yelled at the TV (was worth it, we won! Luongo's a freaking superhero or something like that) then made lentil soup. Now on the PC trying to remember how it works... so ghetto compared to my Mac. I miss it :(
Oh well bed time now. Tomorrow I get to sleep in. I haven't slept in for about... 2 or 3 weeks now. I can't enjoy it too much because essays, projects, readings and studying all has to be done tomorrow. Ok so all I have to really do is study for my neuropathology midquarter which is on Saturday but it's a good idea to start/continue the other things.

Why do we always have to break what's pretty

Damn I want to dance! For sport treatment class we had dancers come and perform then we worked on them. Though watching them did help a lot in understanding movement and how injuries can occur it also made me realize that I REALLY miss dancing! I miss ballet too! I used to do ballet... until the lady told me that I didn't have the body for ballet and wasn't slim enough. Fuck I was 5! I then moved on to ballet jazz and eventually to synchronized swimming (hey they're related). Ended up with synchro for 12 years. Hell once school's done I am going to synchro again and do ballet and salsa and and and... I'll just have all of this free time. All I'll have to do is work! Man I dream of the day!
Well winter has definitely rolled around. It snowed for the first time. It didn't stick but it was nice. I came to the realization that next week I have... 5 papers due. Damn. Somehow December snuck up on me and both October and November flew by. Finals are in two and a half weeks and I'm... surprised. Damn sneaky things.
Had such a good time on Monday night... planning on going to Joanna Chapman Smith's show at the Railway on Dec 9th. Maybe a bit less wine this time around. Lovin' Joanna's song Adrienne.
Found out that my cousin Joey will be moving to Vancouver in January for 6 months! Totally stoked! His girlfriend Christel will be coming as well.
2nd recipe of candied ginger worked out... but isn't as potent as 1st batch... oh well it'll be good for cooking.
Speaking of cooking... been thinking of going for pastry chef at VCC... heart isn't into massage at the moment and all of the back and forth has me thinking that this really isn't what I want to do. I am sure I am going to finish this program... but it's hard when you're not into it. Future seems uncertain. Went to VCC to check out their bakery and I just felt at home... it was familiar. I don't know what to do. Maybe things will change when I work as an RMT. Until then I'll wake every morning, thankful of an other day of health and happiness (despite the uncertainty).
Sleep now. Big day of appointments tomorrow. Naturopath, computer guy, orthodontist. Study as well.... either neuropath or assignments.

Everything looks perfect from far away

I need more nights like last night... I could do without the hangover I have today. Fuck. Last night Pam and I went to the railway club to watch T. Nile. Amazing show, as always. This time we were lucky, she played two sets :) I was also her merch girl, which was something different. CBC was also recording her so it added for a different twist. Eric wasn't there either and that was weird... first show without him there... kinda seemed like I forgot something.
Tee hee the song rambling from T. Nile is playing as I type this and that's how I feel. I can't form a proper thought. I was fine until about 10am then boom! it hit me like a pile of bricks. I've felt pretty rough since then. I still managed to pay attention in pharmacology and neuropathology... but let me tell you, those are not classes you want to go to hung over.
Had a fucking amazing time last night though. It was great to spend some time with Pam too! It had been a while since we hung out. Miss that girl! Soon we'll be in the same class again. Before going to the Railway club we cooked and I think this is something we should do more often. Pam and I are quite the duo in the kitchen. We have the same approach. Cook with passion and flare and always with a full glass of wine. Last night was just so simple and chill, it was great.
Ok I know it's 7pm but I don't care I am going to sleep! Maybe the elephant will stop doing triple pirouettes in my head. Ssshhh elephant.
Post title inspired my scribbles that I had/have on my hand... Tamara sang Such great heights from the Postal Service and it was amazing (listened to all the versions that I could find and none compared). That one and something better has been on repeat in my head today.

Sugar... Syrup... Sugar?

I'm on a ginger kick at the moment. Actually I've been on it since I came back from Maui and them little ginger candies saved me from an entire day of car sickness on the road to Hana (620 curves in the back of a van will do that do ya).
I decided to make candied ginger because I need it for a ginger snap recipe. Somehow my candied ginger didn't turn out that well (though it is amazing, it just... didn't work out). I followed the steps exactly as the recipe had asked. Somehow between step 9 and 10 something went wrong. It went from ginger in a syrup to... sugar. And really quickly too! Oh well now I have amazing tasting sugar (well it tastes like ginger) and shrively ginger coated in sugar. Maybe this is how it's supposed to turn out. Oh well. While looking for pictures to put on here, I found this recipe for candied ginger. I think I will try this one out tomorrow after work. The little Persian market is bound to have really cheap ginger.
I've found that cooking is one of the perks of going part time. I've been cooking so much and loving it! I'm also feeling much healthier as my diet is much higher in fiber :) anyways bed time for me now. Work tomorrow... before last day there :(

Passports n things

Today I went to the passport office and well... it was rather uneventful. Heck I was glad it was but I was ready to wait in like for 6 hours! I brought a shitload of crocheting stuff and figured that would keep me busy. I got to the Richmond passport office 30 minutes early and there were only 14 people ahead of me. The wait wasn't so bad, it was cold (-1) but I was dressed for it. Once we were inside, we went through pre-screening and the lady gave me a hard time because my signature changed. I kinda don't blame her, all the signatures were different. On my carecard it my mum had printed my name cuz at a few months old you can't walk, never mind sign. My passport and learners license were issued when I was 16 (yes my learners license is expired but most people don't notice) and my signature has changed since then. In the end she had me sign my old signature and I was good to go.
I managed to do 1/4 of a granny square when they called me up for the rest of the application. No hiccups there. From start to finish it took me an hour and 5 minutes. So if you're going to the passport office, go to the Richmond one, half an hour early on a cold morning.
So far today I've done that and I finished my first crochet project!!! I finished the baby blanket for Catherine's little one! It's so cute (and warm, I had it on my lap while I was finishing the edging). Pretty proud of this blankie :) First project and it looks good. Hopefully it'll stand up to the abuse that a little baby will put it through.
For the rest of the day I get to study neuropathology figure out some Canada revenue agency stuff (they say I owe them $2 000), tidy up old study space, make chili and then tonight go to Michael's to get a shit load of yarn and things for Christmas. Anyways better get to it. Things don't do themselves...

Morning commute

Most morning I take the same bus with the same people that go to the same job or school and do the same work at the same time and then we all come home and take the same bus... you get the point. Welcome to the rat race. Too many of us go about life, not looking around and realizing the beauty of the space we live in. Yesterday morning I decided to capture my commute in photos. Only problem was, I didn't give myself enough time and was almost late for sport treatment.



































I'm fortunate that on my way to school I get pretty amazing views of the mountains. These pictures don't do them justice but they really are amazing. This week we had our first dusting of snow so they were breath taking. I don't think there are too many cities that have mountains as their backdrop.

Lullaby

May you find solace in the gentle arms of sleep
Despite the wolves outside your door
In time you will see them all as harmless
And their idle threats easy to ignore

And if ever fate should choose to smite you
Stand your ground, never walk away
Please don't ever let the world defeat you
Don't get buried in its decay

As you drift into the gauzy realm of dreams
May you take comfort in the thought that you are safe
For it only takes a fraction of a second
For all of this to change

Return to me
When slumber's fog has lifted
Return to me
Stronger than before

As you sink beneath the soothing streams of time
May you be thankful that you had another day
For there comes a time when each of us will enter
A sleep from which we will never wake

And if ever fate should choose to smite you
Stand your ground, never walk away
Please don't ever let the world defeat you
Don't get buried in its decay

Close your eyes now, if only for a moment
For it's time you get some rest
The wolves are gone and nothing here can harm you
Let go of your fragile consciousness

Assemblage 23

Brain stem, Brain stem!

While hanging out with a few friends of mine, we came across this video on youtube. I thought it was absolutely hilarious... the others not so much. I guess this is what happens when you study neuroanatomy. It has become a bit of an inside joke between my brother and I as well. Every time I say something related to anatomy or physiology, he says "Brain stem, brain stem..." Anyways I am sure you had to be there...
Otherwise lately I've been keeping busy.
Worked the past two days.
I haded in my letter of resignation at work.
I've been going to the gym a lot (found out that my fitness pass works at Kits! Totally stoked about that!).
Celebrated my brothers birthday yesterday with him! Happy 19th Stephy!
Still cooking amazing dishes. Tonight tofu stir fry.
Helped Craig and his roomies paint their new place. That was fun, got to see Etie, Carla and Sean. People I hadn't seen since... 3 or 4 years ago or so.
Learnt a new word/have a new favorite word: Lactarded - being lactose intolerant.
Minette has been great, she hasn't puked or pooped (other then when my brother had the party) anywhere so I am really proud of her!
The place is clean, the plants are alive and the garbage is taken out. My bro and I have been able to keep things running smoothly despite the parents disappearing and everything we've been doing. Steph's been a great help though so it's nice.
And best of all! I've been doing lots of homework :)
Been enjoying the natural light from where my desk is now. I'm next to an east facing window so I can also see the sunrise while studying in the mornings.
175 days until Maui.

I heart lentil soup

Wow that's freaking amazing!! Again here's the recipe. I strongly recommend it if you're wanting a great dinner. We used green lentils and they worked just as well. We also didn't have fresh coriander so we used the regular spice. For the chutney, we used tofu instead of the fresh coriander and the spice. That worked out well. Both versions were good (we couldn't decide which one is best, with or without the "chutney").
Now to make asparagus soup and fig Olson. Next little bit of the week is quite hectic so leftovers will be great... and cheaper :)

Oh be joyful, cuz that shit spreads

I'm happy. I have been for the past 2 days. For some this might be normal but these days I've been finding it hard to feel content and happy. So far I'm on a roll (yes, for me two days is a roll). When I came home from my not so good day, I was ready to fall asleep and wait until tomorrow comes along hoping it'll be a better day. But I decided to make dinner with my bro hang out with him instead. Our dinner was pretty good! The stir fry turned out to be more of a pasta dish (well a stir fry on top of pasta...) we didn't have time to cook brown rice and we didn't want to have white rice. It was fun cuz while we were cooking, we were singing along to French tunes. This isn't something that we usually do while Mum and Dad are around. It's good to just hang out with my little bro.
After that we went and did some grocery shopping. We picked up things to make curry lentil soup, vegetarian chili (I've never had chili, ever) and other yummy healthy vegetarian recipes. The came home to make 4 liters of apple sauce.
The following day (yesterday), was great... I had my first sport treatment class and Ben taught the class to salsa dance! Oh I was stoked :P And yes there was a relation to why he was teaching us this... it was as an example for classifications of sports (salsa is a type of serial skill, but a salsa step can be a discrete skill.) During break Ben and I also danced a bit. All steps that I hadn't learnt before but he taught me and he's a pretty good teacher. It's hard to dance in Vans (those are the ones I have) but it was great to do a few salsa steps anyways. It made me realize how much I miss it.
For pharmacology, we went on a field trip to Chinatown to look at all sorts of things that they use for Chinese medicine. It was pretty amazing! There was everything you could imagine there. Dried shrimp, krill, sea anemones, star fish, sea horses, ginseng sea cucumbers, lizards on a stick (I wish I had my camera for this, they were awesome... yet I kinda felt bad for the dead little lizard). Anyways though it was kinda smelly - not surprising though, dead dried things smell, it was great to see this alternative.
Yesterday I also got my mark for my neuropathology exam. I got 101%! I think that's my first 100% that I've gotten in an exam. I also got to go to the dentist, which I didn't particularly mind. It's a time where I get to lay there and take it easy. After that I hit the gym with Craig and then we went for coffee. A long day but it was fine, I was content. I noticed a change... I actually laughed a lot and smiled a lot.
So far today, I've gone to the naturopath, picked up a present for Stephy's birthday, got my passport pictures taken (and they're not that bad), filled out my passport application, had a two hour nap and am now going to start dinner. Today is my organizing/cleaning day and my a bit of homework day.
I've decided to be less anal with my school work. I've fallen behind and I am always trying to catch up... with catching up, I fall behind in what I am presently doing. A vicious cycle really. So I decided to put away the stuff for the classes that I am not in at the moment and I can take care of that before boards. It'll be great review.
Oh and the cells are precancerous... found out today. Not overly impressed but there's a cleansing and things that I can do to that might make the abnormal cells go away. The good thing is, they're only a 1 on the abnormal scale. 3 being malignant (cancerous).
Anyways it's time to start dinner. Lentil soup tonight with a little salad. Yum!

Please don't bite my head off...

I don't appreciate it. After spending a morning studying for neuropathology, I went to school for my afternoon class. I wasn't even in the school when the Dean asked me where I was this morning and why I wasn't in sport treatment. Well lets see, I thought sport treatment class started tomorrow, not today, my mistake. That would be why I wasn't in class. I apologized and turned to leave and he said "You better be there tomorrow.". Uh! Anyways I know this is completely my fault and I'll lose the 2%, that's fine. But don't be an ass about it!

Changes and good music

Last night while trying to fall asleep, I was thinking of homework and how I can be more effective at doing it. Something that I find rather frustrating is my itty bitty study space. Then I had a thought (it happens)! When board exam study time comes around, I should move my study space from the basement kitchen to my little massage area. It'll be in an area with less traffic and I'll be able to put an other desk next to mine for more space. Then the wheels were turning and i thought about how I can do it, where I can get a new table... you know stupid thoughts that just keep you awake.
Now while studying this afternoon (because it took me forever to get going today, I just wasn't motivated! I was sick too so that didn't help things) I decided why shouldn't I just do the switch now? I don't really see that many clients and the ones I do see I can massage in the living room. When I told Stephy about my idea, he said I could use his desk. He doesn't need it because he's no longer in school. He also said he'd help me. When a break time rolled around (we got together and did the swap). I am so happy with my space! I can spread things out and I don't have to use my lap as a book holder (my neck is thanking me already). I'm so happy in my little space that I even studied until 11pm (which is unheard of! I am usually in bed by 10 and up with the birds - or before - to study).
On a completely different note, I added links that I felt deserved mention. T. Nile and Elaine Ryan. Now you've all heard about Tamara and how awesome her music is but I hadn't put up her link yet. Elaine Ryan is an other folk/acoustic/blues artist. When I first heard her music it was back sometime in late spring, when I met Eric for the first time at Granville Island. We were supposed to meet at the main busking area, in front of the french bakery but there was a mix up and Eric was at the courtyard. It worked out because we did end up meeting and I got to listen to Elaine Ryan's music while I was waiting. Her music was absolutely amazing! So good that I bought her CD right then and there. Since then I've been enjoying her music and it wasn't until earlier this week that I thought I should go see her play. I don't think my monthly live music fixes are enough.
Ok bed time now. SO tired!

It's raining it's pouring...

And it's really freaking windy too! From our house, I can see many trees and fences in the neighbourhood knocked down, several garbage cans and other yard things strewn about in yards and in streets... it's madness! Since yesterday afternoon we've had some pretty intense winds. It reminds me a lot of last year when we had the series of wind storms that flattened Stanley Park. Which got me thinking... poor Stanley Park is probably flattened yet again! What's sort of ironic is that the sea wall (around Stanley Park) was going to reopen in 4 days. It's taken them 11 months to clean up and rebuild. Now with this storm, it'll be interesting to see whether it will open up or if more damage will be done. Ah well, on the plus side, the yucky weather makes me want to stay in and study (which is what I am going to do for the rest of the day).
Last night went relatively well. After I finished my entry, Rick, Andy and Tex (friends of mine) dropped by to make sure everything was going alright. When they left, Rick told me not to worry, that they seemed to be a good group of kids but to be careful because they'll start throwing up in half an hour or so. Half an hour went by with no one throwing up. I went downstairs to go to bed, lay there for about 15 minutes until I heard commotion. Initially I wasn't too sure if it was outside my window or downstairs. I thought I'd check anyways just to make sure everyone was alright. Sure enough "Buff Matt" was downstairs throwing up lookin like a champ. Poor guy. His buddies were telling him to suck it up and go back upstairs so I told them to go away and I'd take care of Matt. After all I've known Matt since he was... 5 or something. Eventually I found myself going from one washroom to an other, taking care of Foy and Matt both cuddling their respective toilets. The other guys were having a good time. They'd come and check in on the guys every once in a while and tell them to get over it and be tough. By 1, everyone was out of the house, even Matt and Foy.
I had to chuckle though... two hours of drinking and three hours of puking. Man I remember the days. Then I learnt to pace myself. Now most nights don't end in puking. Yay. Anyways all of the cleaning up is done (I took care of the basement... it wasn't as bad as upstairs but still had puke in the living room, kitchen and bathroom) and I'm ready to start studying. I really really don't feel like studying. I just kind of want to write this one off. But I did that with my last neuropath exam so I have to bust ass with this one. Bleh!