Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Feelin better

Finally I'm feeling better! I am glad for this because I felt my IQ going down with every day time TV show that I watched! I am really hoping to be back at school tomorrow (still feeling rather weak and dizzy). Already I've missed alot of stuff and it's going to be really hard to catch up. I also have not been able to study for the past few days because I've been so useless and weak (some people call it sick).
Well I'll miss the quality time I get to spend with my sweet little Minette but she'll still be here when I get back from school.
I've made a few changes to my site. Let me know if this makes it a bit easyer to read. Well time to go rest a little bit, not feelin too peachy keen atm.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I learnt my lesson I promise

Well I've learnt my lesson, but my body still believes that it should keep punishing me. All of yesterday I was useless, I couldn't eat much and couldn't get around other then to go to the washroom. By evening time, I was craving steak (that is what the family had for dinner... it was my fave, BBQed steak kabobs... yum) so mum cut up some itty bitty pieces that I could eat. I got 1/2 of an ounce of steak down (YAY protein!) and then went to bed. This moring I woke up feeling rather good. I got up to get some water and poof back down I go. I'm fed up, I want to be able to move about without feeling like I am going to pass out.
I've learnt my lesson! I am no longer going to push myself to exhaustion. I know my body knows that I'll do it again so it's making sure that I've really learnt my lesson. So today I'm out for the count yet again, trying to feed myself little bits at a time. I wish Paul could take care of me now *sighs* oh well...

Monday, February 26, 2007

Adventures with Hypoglycemia

Well as most of you may know, I've been battling a pretty nasty cold/flu. I've also had hypoglycemia since... well grade 11 or 12 (started when I did the 30 hour famine), this causes a little bit of a predicament when it comes to not being able to eat. So you can imagine that the cold/flu combination with hypoglycemia is always rather tricky. For the past 5 days, I havn't been eating that much because every time I smell food it makes me nautious. How i thought I could even work yesterday I don't even know.
I worked from 8:30 to 11:45 then i figured I should go try to eat something because I was feeling SO weak that I couldn't feel my legs. I made it to the food court and managed to get myself some orange juice to boost my sugars (which I found out later that it is probably the worst thing to do). As I sat down I could feel my body start to give way. I gathered my strength and went to get a bagel. As the lady was preping it, I sat down and passed out. The lady who was sitting next to me made a bit of a fuss, wanting to call Security and all this. Eventually I managed to get away and back to the booth. I sat down and maybe I passed out, i can't remember from now until I got home things got really fuzzy... I must have called mum to pick me up and gone home. I think I passed out in the car a few times... really I don't know.
Yesterday sucked! I was seriously thinking of getting my ass to a hospital so they could feed me via IV (and for those of you who know me well enough, you know this is a HUGE decision because I am so deathly afraid of needles... and hospitals = lots of needles). It took me an hour to eat 1/4 of a cracker. Anyways I figured if I couldn't eat by today, I'd send my ass to the hospital.
After a night of anxiety attacks and short spurts of sleep I woke up quite hungry (which was a good sign). I made it upstairs and while putting my cereal together I felt quite nautious. I went to lay down on the couch, then felt like I was going to throw up. Next thing I knew, I was cuddling the toilet with my bowl of cereal... Eventually I managed to eat some cereal and drank 1/4 of a protein shake that mum had made for me (this is over the span for 3 hours though). So I am glad to say, no hospital for me :) I still feel and look like shit but I think the worst is over.
I am not too sure what I am going to do about the two exams that I have tomorrow and all the assignments but right now I can't even go to the washroom without feeling faint. Ah well.
Lesson here... when your body says stop, slow down... listen to it cuz or else it'll force you to take it easy.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Oops

Don't you hate it when you're stuck in a rut and you figure you can catch up but then you realized that you're fucked. I'm in that predicament now... I applied for a job, which I got (consists of selling mud at the esthetics show sunday and monday... which is my weekend) and I didn't think this would be a problem.

I knew that I had two mid quarter exams on tuesday (A&P and Systemic Orthopedic Pathologies, my hardest subjects) but i figured I'd be fine. I thought I'd check my agenda JUST IN CASE i missed something... SURPRISE! Not only do I have those two exams, I also have:
Quiz in Manual Skills
Quiz in Professional development
Two assignments in PD
one being two interviews that i need to conduct with
a) an RMT
b) a small buisness owner
the other assignment is 1500 words on one of the following subjects
1) lifelong learning
2) maintaing a professional relationship with your clinic guests
3) managing your stress levels at school and at home (I think I'll pick this one cuz it's the one I am CRAP at)

So needless to say, I am going to be stupidly busy in the next little while... all this and I still have that darn cold/flu/what ever the hell it is... well hopefully the guy that hired Pam and I for the esthetics show to sell mud isn't a hard ass and I can manage to study a bit between customers.

Oh well all in all I am feeling much better (emotionally anyways)... i figured what will happen between Paul and I will happen and no matter how much I think, stress, cry and worry, it won't change the outcome.

Time to study A&P... then study mud stuff then sleep :) precious sleep.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Emptyness

Well I wanted to start this so I could vent. Now I can't even vent. I sit here looking at my computer screen and all I feel is the emptyness inside. I feel hollow, emotions have left me. Like Liam (my hair dresser) said, somedays are horrible days, others are bad and then you have the odd ones that are ok. They are not bad, yet they are not good. And it's been such a long time since you've had a good day, that you almost forget what it feels like. (Liam's not a miserable type, he's just heart broken, like me)
That's how I've been feeling lately. It's not a side of me that I like so I try to hide it and I know that I am doing a poor job of it. I'm starting to think that's ok now though because I'd challenge anyone to go through what I have been going through lately and I want to see if they can manage to smile at the end of the day.

K I'm done... maybe next time I'll have something interesting to say.
Two weeks n something to go...

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Does this make me a blogger?

Welcome to my blog :) I've been contemplating starting my own Blog for a while now and today I gave in. I've enjoyed reading Gillian's blog for a while now, I figured maybe someone can enjoy readin my blog sometime.

So enjoy reading my life and what's going on in it. For now I'm off to Yoga.

J