Like I said...

DO NOT PROCRASTINATE!

Just 5 short days after my last blog post about not procrastinating, I've done it again. I have to present a systemic pathology assignment on hypothyroidism this morning and I am still working on the class hand out.
Sure I already know what material I am going to present and I even made up a hypothyroidism bingo as a review but I am still working on the darn thing a couple of hours before I have to leave home. Slick.
Anyways I feel good about this project and am really quite happy. Justin came by despite me trying to be all studious n stuff (I gave him the green light... I don't like weekends where we just get to see each other for 24 hours... now we get to see each other for 48 hours with a school day thrown in there). It was great to have him here... especially because we had the place to ourselves. ;)

What are the chances?

That I'd message someone on CraigsList about a Christmas tree stand and they would happen to be engaged to someone who works with someone on the Strathcona Mental Health Team who also works at InSite who can drop off the Christmas tree stand on Monday?! Oh and they're so awesome that they want to donate the stand!? Not very likely! But it happened and I am so amazed by the kindness and fantasticness of people (and of flukey coincidences).
I've had quite good feedback about this whole X-mas at OnSite thing and I am feeling quite positive. It makes me smile inside. Anyways it's late, I was up early, time for bed. Good Night :D

Christmas time!!!

Around Christmas time I try to focus some of my energy towards helping others. In the past couple of years I've volunteered to gift wrap for Canuck Place at Oakridge mall. That was fun... especially dealing with the procrastinators :) Money doesn't seem to be a problem with them and will throw any sum at you as long as you can wrap quickly and make it look good. It was also fun to joke around with the guys and ask them if they wanted me to make it look like they wrapped it themselves. It's definitely a fun environment to work in.
This year I've changed my focus. With my new found interest with addiction and substance abuse, I thought it would be kind of nice to do something for those who will be staying at OnSite during Christmas time. I suggested this to the coordinator at OnSite and she gave me the green light!
So here's what I am going to do! I am going to get a Christmas tree (a fresh one so it will smell nice) and some decorations and we're going to give them a beautiful Chirstmas tree! On Christmas eve day (or Christmas day... depending on whether I am going to Bellingham or not on the 25th) I am going to go delivery presents and fresh baked goods! Yeah, I think that would make for a pretty good Christmas.
So here's where I need your help!
For the gifts, I am collecting men and women's clothing that are new or used (but looks relatively new), tuques, scarves, gloves, mittens, books. If you do not have any clothing or books to give, you can also donate money. This money will be used to buy more tuques, scarves, gloves... etc. Also if people would like to come over on the 23rd after I am finished school (6pm) and bake along to some Christmas tunes... they're more then welcome to come and help! Oh! If someone has a tree stand that they want to give away... we'll take it!
If you want to help, leave a comment and I will contact you. You can also e-mail me at aussiejanelle@hotmail.com. With every one's help we can make quite a few people very happy this Christmas! I will keep blogging about this as I make progress.

*I've already received one donation! That's $20 towards the OnSite Christmas! Thank you :)

Bittersweet

With my passion with cooking, you'd think this entry would be about chocolate... but it's not. It's about something that happened yesterday at OnSite. I'd been treating this client for 6 or 7 weeks now and we've made remarkable progress together. They've also done a great job at taking care of themselves and seem to be taking a really positive path. I've known for a couple of weeks now that this particular client would be moving on to something else and I was excited for them.
Yesterday at OnSite was awesome (as it always is). I wasn't meant to go back but Andrea and I switched shifts... so she will be at George Pearson and I will stay at OnSite! We didn't think the Dean would agree to this but he did and it's made us both very very happy! Anyways I was tremendously grateful to be at OnSite and doing the work that I was doing. It touched me deeply and I think that may have been why I was extra sensitive. Either that or the lack of sleep... or a combination of both.
Well I saw this client for the last time and I asked them how they were doing. They expressed that they were feeling anxious and a bit nervous about their departure. I totally understood and I wanted to give them a hug. But of course, with boundaries and stuff, I didn't. I gave the best grounding massage that I could give yet still was kind of upset that it would be my last treatment with this client.
I spoke about this to an other health care professional and they told me to focus on the positive. That this individual is getting better and has made huge changes in their life. I like looking at it that way, however, I also really enjoyed working with that client.
I'll get over it. I know. I've had to part with other clients that have moved on (at Aurora and other outreaches) and I was fine. It's just always hard. I am not too sure if this gets easier... I don't know if I want it to get easier. I think it shows that I am human and I care. When we get numb to parting with someone that you've worked with then I feel that it makes you a little bit less of a compassionate therapist. And that's what I want to be.

On the verge

of tears and wanting to hermit all day. Again... just one of those days. I am really liking that "these days" are coming around less and less often but it still sucks when they do. Yesterday I spent the day at the verge of tears. I just figured I was tired. Today, with plenty of sleep, I just want to hide in my room and sleep. I have a mid quarter today which I haven't studied for. I am sending it out to the universe that our teacher is sick and postpones the mid quarter. After all she didn't show up for work yesterday.

Text messages that make me smile...

"Hey darling! how was your day? I did get to play with fishes today. Lots of fish sex ;) love you."

Yes Justin has a very interesting job... today he got to help fish make babies at a fish farm. It doesn't sound as romantic as it's cracked up to be but it sure makes for interesting days at work!

Bed...

I can't remember when the last time was that I stayed up this late... I can't form sentences or a thought. My mind is mush and I want to go to bed. But before I do, I wanted to blog to remind myself NOT TO PROCRASTINATE!
What I thought was a book report that may take one to two hours to complete ended up taking me 10! Ok so I hadn't written a book report since grade 7 and apparently a lot has changed since then. In the end I am happy with what I put together. I am also really happy (and thankful) that Dasha has the patience to spend an hour and a half with me correcting the damn thing. She would laugh when I used terms as "feelings ballooned" or "renders a normal functioning individual into a mere empty husk". So my book reports are colourful! it makes it more interesting then the regular blah blah blah of intelligent linearly minded people.
Ok bed now! Awake way too early to study for Wednesdays mid quarter.

Good Idea... Bad Idea...

Good Idea: Saving Money.
Bad Idea: Eating salmon/rice dinner that was made last Thursday even though it smelt fishy and possibly bad when there are two assignments and one mid quarter to study for.

Now I feel like my insides are trying to make their way outside... and I have to work on those two assignments AND study for a hand full of mid quarters/quizzes. Winter break is a month away... but even that isn't worth counting down because we have a mid term on the 23rd of December. Our winter break is also our study break and we have a week of class before finals on the 2nd week of January.

On the up side, the rest of level 500 will FLY by and I will be in level 600 very soon! Hooray! :)

Lost cell phone

This morning I was rushing around trying to find my darn cell phone. After about 15 minutes I decided to go to school without it. It's not that I would miss any important phone calls or anything like this. What made me upset was knowing that I would have to go the day without text messages from Justin. A couple words from him can get me through the day and it's become important to me. It just struck me this morning that I was fussing so much just to get those couple of text messages :)

Study buddy!

I got one! And she's pretty cool! She is also sleeping right now :) Maja and I got together last night for some Indian food and studying. It was pretty great! Being we had so much time to study one subject we would study for an hour and then break for an hour... our breaks consisted of looking through all of our Hawaii 2008 photos. It was fantastic! We relived some pretty awesome moments :) We also got so much accomplished in terms of studying. Our OP is in a couple of hours and we're ready to rock it!
We found a the key to studying... caffeinated tea after dinner and a glass of wine before bed. Yes, we even stopped at just a glass. The caffeine still won at the end of it because after laying there for 15 minutes/ half an hour we started chatting again and talked until the wee hours of the morning. My internal alarm still woke me at 5:30 and I was able to get a touch more review in.
We agreed that we should start doing this until we write our boards in September. Mondays will be the evenings we get together for study time... which is great because we are on the same level and learn the same way. We also come up with the stupidest things to remember muscles or other things and it really sticks.
So other then studying nothing really has been new in my life. I've fallen into a comfortable groove of study, sleep, get up very early, study, school... until the weekend which is... meet Justin after school, spend Saturday night together, all of Sunday together (which mostly consists of cuddle time and time at the market) and then Monday is a mix of work and homework. It's a very repetitive life but I like it... most of all I am enjoying being at school and that is a really refreshing change! I think the unconditional love and support that I get from Justin really helps! I am one very luck lady :)

You would think it would be scary...

..to be looking up information about Canadians immigrating to the USA, Americans immigrating to Canada and Americans and Canadians getting married and what that means in respect to where they can live. But really it wasn't. It was comforting to know that Justin passed the test as a skilled worker and can most likely move to Canada without too much hassle. Now where life will take us in the next two to three years? We don't know. But we are open to the many possibilities that await us. For now we're just thinking short term, like finishing school and traveling. However that crazy urge to travel is not so crazy any more. I am starting to feel like just being with Justin will make me happy no matter where we are. It's a strange feeling but it's one that has been around for the past couple of days. Maybe those feelings will keep evolving, I don't know. But so far it's interesting and it's comforting. It's lovely and it makes me happy.

Because I am good at that too!

There are many thing that I am good at. But one of my hidden talents is the creation of cavities. I even impress my dentist. For someone who does not drink coffee or soda pop, eat candy or any of those other cavity inducing pleasures I sure as heck manage to come up with my fair share. Today's count... 3 1/2! When I said "I managed to create 4 cavities!" my dentist replied with a chuckle "No, just three... one is a maybe." I am glad she's thinking positive! Last time I was in to visit her was to get 3 cavities filled. It just seems to be my lucky number. And yes, I brush twice daily (sometimes more if I have clinic or a manual class which is quite often) and use mouth rinse. I don't floss. I hate flossing! But I am going to try to make it habit... at the rate I am going I won't have any real teeth left! I will also start wearing my mouth guard again... at least on week days (mouth guards aren't the sexiest thing... so when Justin is around, the mouth guard is out). Apparently I am still grinding my teeth and have done a nice job at making them nice and smooth. What can I say? I like soft things :)

Perfect weekend

It's been one perfect weekend after an other filled with busy week days in between. My time together with Justin is always something that I look forward tremendously and it's a wonderful reward for working hard all week.
This weekend it was especially nice three days off. This meant that we got to spend extra time together :) With one day filled with a visit to the market, a nap and hanging out naked together and the other day filled with lounging around then going to North Vancouver for lunch in the sunshine and some lacey things shopping... it really doesn't get better then that. I am sure eventually we will become productive together but for now it's nice to spend some time doing nothing much but enjoy each others company.
Today he went back to the states and I hit the books. I've got a mid term tomorrow which I wasn't too afraid about until 5 hours into my study time and I still haven't finished reviewing the first class. It seems simple. We've covered Bell's Palsy, Trigeminal Neuralgia and Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. However somehow that amounted to over 60 pages of notes. So I am stressing. I read but it feels like nothing is going in. Most likely because I am stressing... and because it is neuro.
Somewhere in level 200, 300 and 400 I shut off neuro and I don't remember much because I was so intimidated... anyways I think that's what happened because I seem to have caught the dumb when it comes to anything neuro related. Being this class builds on the basics I am kind of hooped.
Anyways I just have to make it through level 500, pass everything and hopefully I will be able to catch up in level 600 while we do our integration. If I can't catch up then... well I will have to make it through level 600 and I will have 4 months to relearn and integrate between May and September.
Well I am getting ahead of myself here... I should focus on tomorrow's mid term. I am just really glad that I don't have the oral practical until next week.

The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be.

Robert Fulghum

The day is here...

...that I go for cryotherapy of those darn little abnormal cells. It was fun while it lasted but it's time to part.
I haven't blogged about this issue for a while because I wasn't too sure what to think of it myself. After reading though my blog again (I had to do this for my clinic journaling, I wanted to put in my clinic journal bits anf pieces from my blog when I wrote about clinic) I was quite struck by a comment that I made earlier. I wrote "...I either have cancer or I don't.." I thought that this was quite a bold statement and I felt rather hurt by it. I still do. I don't think that is a positive way of thinking and I've been working on changing it.
I believe that if it was only the abnormal cells I would be a little more at ease with this situation but there is also a mysterious pain that we've (meaning naturopath and I) been trying to figure out. This is a pain that bothers me monthly (most often all month long but that's been changing) and drains me of energy. Chronic pain really sucks. We have ideas of the source of the pain but nothing conclusive as of yet. I've been trying all sorts of natural approaches and though the painful periods are decreasing in length the pain is still there.
One thing that I found to be quite interesting was that the mono that I had 5 years ago showed up on body scan. It was actually the number one problem. Apparently my body is still fighting the mono and while it's busy doing that other viruses or bacteria are able to do their thing. So the new approach... get rid of mono so my body can focus on the other things that are going on within me.
Anyways today will be interesting. I got a voice mail from the gyno office yesterday saying that they still needed that referral from the doctor. A doctors referral only lasts 6 months. If that referral runs out you need to get a new one. This make sense... sort of. Because if you are seeing the specialist often and chose to get continued care though this specialist (as I am with my gyno) after 6 months you need to get a new referral even though you are still seeing the specialist and the specialist agrees that you should keep seeing them. I think it's a bit of a useless Dr.'s visit. But I didn't argue. I do what I have to do and went to the doctor in early September to make sure that this referral had plenty of time to get to the gyno's office (it only has 2 blocks to go... if it went by dust mite it should be there by now). So anyways I have to track down this referral. Hopefully the Dr's office forgot to fax the gyno's office and that I don't have to go in for a referral before 2:30 this afternoon. I am already missing class as it is. I don't want to miss more then I have to.
Anyways we'll see how things go. I have a feeling it will all work out.

Right...

So I FINALLY got my marks back for that fascial OP that I first wrote about here... then followed up that post a day later with this one. After the speech I stopped stressing about my results but I was still very curious to see whether I had passed or totally bombed the darn thing! And I passed! Not only did I pass, I kind of did really well and am quite proud of myself. With 94% in the written and 80% in the OP* I feel better about my fascial skills.
I've also found that with this break I am more determined and am quite efficient with my study time. I am also learning a lot more in class because I actually want to be there and I'm asking questions. I am also answering questions even though I am unsure of myself. Before I would only answer if I knew my answer was right (which wasn't very often) because I was afraid people would think I was stupid. But I figure I am in school now so now's the time to mess up when I have people around me that can correct me. I think this will make me a better therapist in the long run.
Clinic has also changed. I find myself more confident and am tackling people's problems head on. I'm treating not only with the standard Swedish techniques (which is my comfort zone because I know I can do those well) but I am also throwing in muscle energy, fascial and other techniques that I am less confidant with. I figure now is the time to practice. I am also finding myself telling me clients that "Next week we're going to work on...". So without really knowing it I'm already building up long term goals and I am telling my clients about it. Voicing long term goals to my clients was something I never had the courage to do before this term.
So far I like these changes. They definitely seem to be for the better. I am also getting excited about my future as a therapist because I am starting to see value in the work that I do. I think the next year will be very interesting for me.

*OP - oral practical