I want to go to Mexico to visit the gay giraffes

"Hey George can I count your spots?"
"No Larry you can't count my spots!"

Good Morning! It's 4am and I'm up and ready to start my day... ok I am not ready but I'm up. Today is my last class before reading break and I happen to have a mid term. It's also a mid term that I am not too sure if I am ready for. So just to make sure, I got up at this ungodly hour in the morning to get an other 2 or 3 hours of studying in before I have to go to school.
After class I have to go to work and there I have a 9 hour shift... I can guarantee you that by the time 9pm rolls around tonight I'll be a walking zombie.
You may wonder where the heck the subject came from. For some reason, the first thought that entered my mind, was a memory of when Eric and I were driving back from the Oakanagan. We were following a truck which was loosing what looked to be wood chips (like you'd find at the bottom of a hamster cage). On the back of the truck, there was a number 341 and we came to the conclusion that this number was for the amount of giraffes that were in the truck. There were three females, four males and a gay giraffe. The gay giraffe, Larry, always wanted to count the other giraffes spots and the other giraffes were tired of him wanting to do so. Anyways it was completely random and I wondered why I thought of that first thing this morning.

Adventures in Waxing: Cire Divine

Well it's definitely not divine that's for sure! I'd say this past adventure in waxing was more like a form of torture then any grooming ordeal I'd ever experienced.
I decided to try something new (this is where I first went wrong... if it aint broke, don't fix it!). I'd been using the cold wax strips and that seemed to work quite well for me (because shaving sucks). I'd stick the wax strips in my thermophore (fancy heating blanket) which would get them to the perfect temperature and they worked wonders! But you know, these get expensive... so I thought I'd try buying a pot of wax.
I read the instructions (all three pages of them) and proceeded to microwave my wax. I waited the three minutes, mixed, smoothed it onto my leg, waited 20 seconds and then tore it off. What I was left with was a patchy leg... 1/2 the hair was gone, the other 1/2 was still there. I figured it was my inexperience. I tried and tried again only to finish the pot with 1/2 my leg still as hairy as when I'd started. Then I had an idea!
I could melt the used wax and wax with that. It worked! Well remelting the wax did. After an hour and a bit of struggling with the wax, I gave up. I was getting grouchy because I was tired of getting bits and pieces of hairs pulled out (next time I am going to tweeze the hair on my legs). So now I've got 1/2 hairy legs and I know not to buy this stuff again.

Word of the Day: Borborygmus

Boyborygmus - a rumbling noise caused by the propulsion of gas through the intestines. "Grumblies in your tumblies"

Now you know.

More Tamara Nile & Joanna Chapman-Smith

Last night Eric and I went to the Railway Club to watch Tamara and Joanna perform. I really enjoyed the music last time I went so I was glad to go back. This time Tamara and Joanna performed together and again I was impressed. I was able to forget about my heartache for a good two hours and just enjoy the music. I am really looking forward to being less broke so I can get their CDs. Also they're performing at the Railway Club at the end of October (29th)... so maybe that's what I'll do for my birthday. It'll be either that or the Parade of Lost Souls (27th).

Self Reflection

I've been doing a lot of that lately. I'm trying to figure out where I am and where I want to go in life. Also I'm also toying with who I am, my beliefs, values and ethics. I'm going to be reactive and blame this on PD :)
Sometimes I feel quite lost but I have to keep reminding myself that it's really not that bad. It's easy to get caught up in the bumps in the road that I've been travelling. I just have to look ahead, accept that the bumps I've been going over have shaken me up again but it won't beat me down. I also read something quite interesting an though it's something I've always been told (in a different way) it's something to keep in mind.

Any day above ground is a good one.

Between that and...

Be gentle with yourself.

I should be able to keep my head up and look towards the future. I've got to say, there are many possibilities out there, waiting for me. It's quite exciting.
School has been going well. I'm still glad that I went part time. In last weeks A&P mid term, I managed to pull off 82%. Our group PD project where we were supposed to create a clinic fell into place and the work that we did as a class was quite impressive. Not only did we impress ourselves, but we really impressed Laurie (our PD teacher), Randy (the Dean), Annette (an other of our teachers, she created the project for PD though) and Jamie (I think that's his name, he's a new teacher that I'd never really met before). This week I've got a quiz in PD on Codes of Ethical Conduct and Standards of Practice. I've also got a mid term in systemic pathology.
Next week we've got our reading week. There I'll be able to catch up on a few things and work on the PD final project. While sitting in last PD class I thought of a creative way to display my PD project. The way I see it, is that this PD project is supposed to make you think and look at yourself and where you stand on different topics (the ones covered in this class). So really it's writing down what we feel/believe on the inside. Self reflection. What I am going to do is that I will still journal/blog about what is going on and what I am feeling/discovering about myself. Then I am going to quote myself and write it all over my body. I will then have Eric take artsy photos of me and that will be my project. It's like taking what's internal and showing it to everyone. Anyways I'll post the pics when I have them. It should be a fantastic project.
I've finished 4 or 5 weeks at the Aurora Center for clinic and that was quite an amazing opportunity. I worked with some amazing women that are really quite admirable. We still have clinic at Aurora however, I'm just scheduled for a few days here and there.
Work is going quite well too. Opening day was on Sunday and I've got two words for that. Gong Show! I loved it though. I worked thursday, friday, saturday and sunday (yeah I know, that's more then 20 hours)... Saturday was family and friends day. Mum and Dad came by to check out where I'd been working and what I was talking about (quite a few adventures in shelf building, shelf stocking and training at the bakery). After they left, there was the ribbon cutting ceremony which was actually quite emotional. I think it was a great opportunity to help set up because I feel like this is partially my store too. It almost makes me forget that I'm only getting paid 9$ an hour. The people that I work with are fantastic (some are quite the characters) and we have great neighbors (the meat department) that are always good for a laugh. Sunday was SO busy but it was great to see people in the store and excited about the opening. I don't even know how many times I heard "welcome to our neighborhood!" It was great! By the end of the day, I was exhausted, my face hurt from smiling so much. The high of opening day I guess. It was just nice to see people excited about the new store.
At school we were taught that there is good and bad stress... for me, running around helping customers (even the demanding ones) and doing many other things here and there is a good stress. It's still one the if there's too much of it can wear you down. I know I am feeling it now. My internal heater is broken, I've been cold for the past week or so. I think I'm fighting off a cold because today I was sniffly. Anyways as long as my body can fight it (that's what the 3 hour nap this afternoon was for... also cuz I was sad and I wanted to make it go away) I'll be happy.
I guess I have good and bad days, like everyone else. I just can't get caught up in the bad ones. Naps, Family Guy (yep I just discovered that show, been watching it with my bro), music, singing and running have been a great way to switch my emotions.

Vagus Nerve (Cranial Nerve X) and heart ache

The Vagus Nerve is the tenth of the twelve paired cranial nerves and it runs from the brain to the abdomen, innervating the ears, tongue, throat, lungs, heart and intestinal tract. The vagus nerve supplies motor parasympathetic fibers (this is our rest and digest nerve fibers, they are calming. They are usually overpowered by the sympathetic nervous system - fight or flight - we cannot stimulate the parasympathetic system but in order for it to kick in, we must calm the sympathetic system) to these organs.
It wasn't until recently that we were introduced to the idea that the vagus nerve could be possible connected to emotions and the function of these organs. Some of the north american doctors arn't quite following this, however, many of the other alternative health practitioners such as naturopaths, massage therapists etc. agree with this new theory.
I'm still wrapping my head around it but it does seem entirly possible. It would explain why when we are anxious, scared, or heart broken, we feel it in our heart or stomach. For the past week, heart ache has been a constant nagging feeling that until now I havn't been able to understand. I know why it's there but I can't quite understand why my heart hurts when I'm feeling down. It seems almost impossible that organs and nerves can be connected (except for nerve innnervating them for function eg.: our heart beating). I guess I seemed to forget to most important thing... everything is connected... so why couldn't emotions, nerves and organs be connected. Afterall the limbic system (our "emotional brain") is in the brain and I am sure the cranial nerves are somehow related - maybe I should reread the chapter on the nervous system.
This is possibly the most confusing blog entry but I just had to write down and try to make sence of this vagus nerve / organ / emotion thing. It's still quite cloudy, I think I need to do more reserach. It is interesting through and I think I can see how this could all come together.


Smile and your limbic system smiles with you.

Ouch.

And still I hurt, not knowing why, but I do. This should be for the best but sometimes doing something for the best hurts. My mind is blank, my arms are numb, my ears are ringing, tears threaten to escape my eyes... yet nothing happens. All that I can think of is ouch.

Kitty's quirks

For the past while, Minette has been really thirsty. She has a bowl upstairs and one downstairs that we keep filled with fresh, filtered water (yeah she's spoiled). It wasn't until recently that she started to drink out of the toilets and the tub. It wasn't until even more recently that she started camping out next to the upstairs toilet. This is now her new favorite spot.
Minette also has a stuffed fish that she plays with. Ok well she doesn't quite play with it but rather takes it with her. If we're having dinner, we'll hear the low growly mew that announces that she's bringing her fish. Same thing goes if we've got company (or just watching TV) and are sitting in the living room visiting. This also goes for when I'm (or if Eric is with me) in bed just as I'm falling asleep. She'll bring her fish, always accompanied by the low growly mew. She won't bring it to you but she'll just drop it in the room. It's like her buddy I guess.
This afternoon I'm studying for my A&P mid term. I decided to get some water upstairs to stretch my legs and give myself a break. As I was by the upstairs washroom, I see Minette sleeping next to the toilet with the fish. This made me laugh and it still makes me smile because I can just imagine Minette wanting to share her fresh water with her friend the fish and dropping it in the toilet.

Bad Kitty!

So Minette's been a bit of a difficult thing to deal with lately. She drinks a lot, mews a lot and is rather incontinent... but I guess this all comes with age. After all she is 13. Otherwise she is quite healthy. The incontinence though was/is a bit hard to deal with, so we took her to the vet (also for her yearly shots). The vet figured that she might have hyperthyroid so they did a few tests. We figured hyperthyroidism isn't that bad, she'd just have to be on pills for the rest of her kitty life. Today we got the test results back. And it wasn't hyperthyroidism. It's cancer.
I'm at quite a loss for words and for feelings. Initially I cried. I cried a lot. I called Eric and boohooed over the phone for a while. Talking to him always makes me feel better as he helps put things into perspective. Right now we've got two choices, either we bring her in for more testing to really confirm the diagnosis, from there she can get chemo or radiation, which may prolong her life but she may not be a happy camper or we can do nothing and let nature take it's course. My initial reaction was that we should let nature take it's course. That is still how I feel.
I could be selfish and make her last longer but really I want her to be happy. After reading over what I wrote about the hyperthyroidism, I think this might even be better (of these situations) because Minette is a feisty little thing and would absolutely HATE to have pills stuffed down her throat.
So tonight I'm sad but she's just come to join me so I think we're going to cuddle and go to bed now.

What am I doing awake at 3am?

That's a question that I am asking myself right now. I've already lay in bed for a good half hour and sleep hasn't come back to me. So instead of laying there, wasting time, I decided to get up and work on the multitude of things that I have to do this week (homework wise). You see, here's the down side of working and going to school. It just so happens that a few mid terms and finals are the same week as the week before opening day and the week after. Being they only hired 15 people as opposed to 30, they're quite short staffed in the bakery department, therefore I am working 4 days this week as opposed to the 2 that I should be working. This cuts down on my study time significantly and has me rather worried (hence why I am up this early right now). Well I best get to it.

Proud to be a geek

Yep so not only am I writing notes for systemic pathology (sitting in class atm), I am also blogging and looking up patterns to crochet wrist warmers! I'm such a geek, I love it!

No more PD project

Well I've decided that I am no longer going to use this blog as my PD project. I may take exerts of this blog but I won't hand it in. Lately I've been wanting to blog but am not too sure if I should due to the fact that my teacher would probably be reading it. It's nothing school related but sometimes you can't just mix professional development and personal life. There has to be boundaries somewhere. So if I come up with anything life changing and if it's related to PD, I'll blog it on here but I won't do my reflective journaling on here anymore.

WHOLY F%^&!!!

That was my reaction when plummeting down towards the ground on the wooden roller coaster yesterday at Playland. For fathers day, I gave Dad a day at Playland. Both of us really enjoy roller coasters and rides so this is something that we've enjoyed doing in the past. It wasn't until yesterday that Dad and I both had time to go. We got there bright and early (well 11am, that's before most people get there) and we almost ran to the wooden roller coaster.
It's really funny because Dad and I are like little kids when we're in adventure parks. When we were in Disneyland, we were the ones arm in arm skipping around the park like two little kids.
After spending no more then 10 minutes in the line up, we were sitting in the back cart and we were ready to start our day. I had actually forgotten how much this ride scared the living daylights out of me until we went over the first hump. Yep I'm the one that's screaming at the top of my lungs. Partially because I'm scared and partially because there aren't many time you get to yell until your throat is sore.
The rest of the day was great! Dad and I did the wooden coaster twice in a row then moved on to the corkscrew, the pirate ship, the music one that spins you around, the silver space shuttle one, I watched dad go on the hellevator (somehow I don't have the guts to go on the one) and then we did the log ride. We'd never gone on the crazy beach party, so we decided to give that one a try. We did and that was the ride that did us in. I was SO queasy after that I had trouble walking straight. After sitting for a while, we decided to give the tamer silver space shuttle ride a try. I guess once you get sick, there's no going back. The crazy beach party weakened Dad and I's stomach to the point where we couldn't even do the woosy rides. We ended up packing it in early but heck we had such a great time! Stupid beach party! I know I won't ever do that one again! We maybe I will, but at the end of the day, not in the middle of it.
Anyways I am really glad that Dad and I can do things like this together. It's so much fun to just hang out with Dad and do things that we both like to do. It's too bad we only really do it once a year.

And the dust settles

The past 8 months feel like I've been stuck in a washing machine. Between the stressors that have been going on in my life lately it hardly feels like I've been able to take a breath of air. Going part time seemed to help a little but I was quite frustrated because I was still a stress ball even though I had less on my plate.
A major (to me anyways) event that happened and had me think twice about where I was and an attitude change that I had to make was an argument that I'd had with Eric one night two or so weeks ago. I was tired and moody and for some reason I still wanted him to come over (knowing deep down inside that I'd be rotten company but not admitting it to myself at the time). So he came over and I kept to myself and he watched TV. Being tired and grouchy I decided to go to bed, I kissed him good night and off I went. He followed soon after but he was packed and ready to go. He figured if I was going to act like I was, he might as well go home. Me just wanting his company, asked him to stay. He did and tried to make light of the situation but I was still a grouch and... anyways this went on for a while and finally he stayed over. I could tell though that he wasn't happy and he was probably hurt because I was being such an idiot. The following morning I could tell he was still upset, and I don't blame him. I was feeling horrible. Finally when we went to Bowen Island, we were able to talk about it and things settled. I still do feel horrible and never ever want to see Eric hurt or sad again. So I think this was what it took to really make me realize that I had to stop being the way I was if I wanted to keep Eric around. Not only that but I didn't and still don't really like the person I'd become.
At school we've learnt a lot about attitude and how by just changing your perspective on things, the way you feel and act towards certain situations, it can eventually change you on the inside. I can go on about the little cells and their receptors to certain hormones and what not, but I won't. If you're interested in that kinda stuff, What the Bleep do we Know is an interesting film that introduces those concepts. The Secret is an other good one, just ignore all the materialistic bullshit that they throw in there. So I've been changing my outlook on many things, school is one of them. Instead of having an attitude that I hate this shit and it's useless, I've adopted an attitude of "this is difficult for now, but I'll get through it and I will become a RMT. I may not do it full time but I can do it part time. It can also open many doors for me and present me with interesting opportunities in life." Cheesy I know but you have to be firm, not waver because I've come to find that life is like a dog. It'll smell uncertainty and fear and will pick at it until you crumble.
Along with the whole attitude change, work has helped a lot. I believe that it wasn't until I started working that I started to feel balanced again. A few weeks ago I got a job working for Urban Fare. The new store, located in Coal Harbour, doesn't open for an other two weeks yet, so I've been working store set up. For the past two weeks I've been doing many odd jobs, like building shelving units, stocking products and putting price tag holders on the shelves that we built. Odd jobs that no one find particularly fun but heck it's doing something different with different people that I think has calmed me down. It's fun though because I feel human again. I no longer feel like a humming bird that's taken 5 cups of coffee (though that may not have shown on the outside, that sure as hell was how I felt on the inside).
So now that I'm feeling more balanced, I'm able to actually look forward to doing homework and achieving good marks in school (instead of just being content with the bare minimum). I also feel like I'm more of a pleasant person to be around. Anyways we'll see how this progresses but I feel quite happy as to where I am in life right now.

Damp Cats

Lately I've been checking I can has cheezeburger daily for my dose of smiles and giggles before I start homework. While I was on hold with Telus, I was browsing the web and found Dampcats.com. It's not as funny as I can has cheezeburger but it's rather entertaining. Now I'm left to wonder... why are wet cats so cute. Possibly because they look so miserable. I don't know but I think this web site will be added to my browse before doing homework repertoire. Well now I've got to call Apple because my MacBook has a bobo :( I am kicking myself in the ass for not having bought the applecare plan because I know this will cost me an arm and a leg to get fixed. And right about now, I don't have an arm and a leg to give.

Compassion

That last entry I'd written a few weeks ago during one of my breaks... actually I kinda wrote it in class while partially paying attention to another teacher. The Internet connection at school is finicky, therefore I had it saved as a word document and it wasn't until today that I remembered to post it.
I've been meaning to get this project started sooner but so far I've only ended up with snippets of thoughts and feelings from charged topics from the past classes on bits of paper. Run on sentence much... yup but I'm a run on sentence procrastinating type of gal :)
One of the things that we've been focusing on during our PD classes are the teachings of the Dalai Lama. Now I don't know much about Buddhism, therefore I will not claim that I do. We're not going into so much detail about Buddhism, but rather about compassion and the Dalai Lama. One of the excerpt that's plastered all over our handouts is the following:

"Compassion means not being able to stand the enslavement of others to suffering without doing something about it."

This is a quote that is quite charged for me and it goes back to one of the questions that we were asked: "Are you a compassionate therapist?" This is a question that I've thought a lot about and finally tonight I've written about it, however I didn't write about it in my blog because it's WAY too personal and I would feel naked if I exposed myself that way on here.
The conclusion that I came to however was that, at this point in time in my life, I am not a 100% compassionate therapist. When the dust settles, I will reassess myself and my compassion and I will see if there are changes that can be made. So instead of going by the above quote, I will go by the following (also a quote from our handouts which are excerpt from How to Practice: The way to a Meaningful Life by His Holiness the Dalai Lama Translated and Edited by Jeffrey Hopkins, Ph.D):

"The main principle of Buddhist mortality is to help others and, if that is not possible, at least do no harm."

There were an other few things that I wanted to write about in this entry but I've forgotten... so I'll write when I remember them later on.

Professional Development Project

For professional development 400, we've got to do a project. I am still not too clear about what this project is supposed to look like but I think this is how they want it. It seems like they want to give us enough freedom with this that we can turn it into what we want, as long as we incorporate the PD400 components. I've chosen to use my blog as part of my project because I've already mentioned several events where the things we learn t in PD were useful.

Also I believe that the general public isn't too clear as to what massage therapists do and what their qualifications are. By blogging about my experiences it might give a bit of an insight into what we, as massage therapists (or massage therapists in training rater) experience and go through on our journey to becoming a health care professional.

The components for PD400 include:

• The compassionate therapist, in practice and business.
• Reviewing the therapist-guest relationship (including communications) through the lens of compassion.
• Collaborative team-work.
• Power and empowerment.
• Self-care; compassion inward.

I will continue to blog about personal things as this is blog is like my life, a mixture of professionalism but still with a component of personal life. It's impossible to keep them both separate, certainly when it comes to professional development because some of the things that they teach us come in handy in our personal lives as well.

It hasn't been until recently that I've started to incorporate the two in my life. But then again, it hasn't been until recently where PD has been challenging me to open my mind and venture into thoughts and feelings that I never ventured in before (or maybe I wasn't ready to).

Our Canucks have a new Jersey!

With all of the politics that have been going on with our Vancouver Canucks, rumor had it that the jersey had to be changed because Orca Bay no longer owns the Vancouver Canucks (so they'd be getting rid of the orca on the jersey). On August 29th, Darla suggested that we go see the unveiling of the new jersey. Our school is about a block or two away from General Motors place (where the Nucks play) so we went to see what was going on. She thought the unveiling would be outside, where everyone could see. However, once we got there, we saw a fairly big line up so we stood in it (figuring it would be free to get in... after all it's noon on a Wednesday and it's not like its a game or something like that). Of course, once we got to the entrance, we saw that people were handing over tickets. I asked the lady that was scanning them where we could get some and she said we could get some at international plaza. I wasn't too sure where this was and was figuring out a solution when the guy who was standing behind us gave us his extra ticket! I'd said that it was very nice of him and we were two and one ticket wouldn't let us both in, but.... and then the lady who was scanning the tickets said she'd let both Darla and I in.
So in we went :) We thanked the guy and went to find our seats (not assigned seating so we wouldn't be stealing someones spot). I thought it was so exciting! The high mucky mucks gave a few speeches and we watched a quick movie about the history of our Vancouver Canucks and their jerseys. There aren't too many teams that change their jerseys 5 times. Hopefully this jersey is here to stay.
After the speeches and the movie, the crowd greeted captain Markus Naslund and the new jerseys with great cheers! Shortly after, Trevor Linden, Mattias Ohlund, Willie Mitchell and Kevin Bieksa skated in after him, all sporting the new jersey. My initial feeling was that it was the same but with different colours. But after looking at it, I realized that it was actually quite nice. I was confused about why we still had the orca... after all, isn't that why we had to change jerseys? I really liked the way they incorporated the old and they new. The old rink and stick logo on the shoulders and the old colours of green, white and blue added quite a bit of class to the new orca. When I saw Vancouver written across the front, I was proud :) When we win the Stanley Cup this year, people will see where our team is from and they'll know which is the best city in the west! Ok so I am getting a bit carried away here... but I am proud of our new jerseys, no matter what other people say. Cuz really it's the team, and what's under the jersey that counts... Right?

Best Drink Ever!!!

So Eric and I stopped by Stella's Tap ad Tapas on Commercial drive for dinner last night. This is a restaurant that serves more Belgian beer then you can shake a stick at. Of course you'd think I'd get a Belgian beer... but nope I got some kinda girly coctail instead! While Eric was enjoying his Gulden Draak, I was enjoying my El Nino (a little too much, I had two they were so good!). We also had a plate of duck something or other which was quite nice, jumbo (really really jumbo) thai shrimp and belgian fries. I quite enjoyed dinner, though the company and the drinks were much better.
Anyways I've looked up on the internet how to make this El Nino drink that I had and it turns out that it's called El Diablo, El Nino is a completely different drink (with peach n stuff). So yeah I am going to try and duplicate this recipe when I get some Cassis (aka blackcurrant).
Well things have been nutty lately! I've got to catch up on the blogging but not right now (going to go help mum with dinner making as I only seen her in passing for the past few days because I've been out so much).