Good to know...

Well my professional development final is finished! :) No more PD for the rest of the term! Yay! We were sent home to study so now I have all afternoon and evening to study for neuroanatomy, joint mobs and systemic treatment.
Tomorrow I am going to the Police concert and I am SO psyched! I had trouble falling asleep last night because I was so excited (and about camping too...I'm really looking forward to getting out of town.)... I'll have to take photos of the event (if we're allowed) and I'll post em on Thursday.
Yesterday I went to see my naturopaths and I found something quite interesting. Three of the major side effects to being on Diane 35 (the birth control that I was on for quite a few years) are:
Obesity
Hypoglycemia
Hypertension (high blood pressure).
As soon as any of these show up, you're supposed to stop taking the pill. I had two out of three (I'm not obese) and I was still on the damn thing! Back in grade 12, after the 30 hour famine was when I started with the hypoglycemia... could it have been that I had also started taking the pill at that time as well? I can't remember, but that could be something interesting. I also started getting high blood pressure, but this wasn't until sometime last year...
Since I've been off the pill, my blood pressure has lowered to something quite close to normal and I haven't had any hypoglycemia attacks. Actually just yesterday morning, I got up with Teako and we went for a run around Langara... this was something that I could never ever do before! Normally I couldn't make it more then an hour after waking up in the morning without having something to eat. Sure I still feel weak if I don't eat a.s.a.p but it's not as urgent as before (as in, I won't pass out in the shower or something like that). I'm kinda hoping that even though I wasn't obese that maybe since I've gotten off the pill that I'll be losing some weight in the next little while. Could be fun :P but if it doesn't happen, I won't be too saddened.
Well I best get to studying... I actually feel like I'm going to get something accomplished today! YAY!

Long weekend yay yay

Yay I have a long weekend coming up! I also have a fun filled week coming up as well! I have two mid terms, a mid quarter and a final. BUT I also have the Police concert AND a hair appointment with Liam! Then for my long weekend, Paul and I are going to go camping. Where? I don't know. We're just going to get in the car and drive. I was kinda hoping to go to Mt. Reinere or Deception Pass, however because Teako doesn't have his rabies tags we'd have to get a letter to take Teako across the border and that's too much work. So now it'll be anywhere in the direction of the Oakanagan (or maybe even the oakanagan)... or even that place past Osoyoos... we'll see where we want to camp. Anyways I am pretty stoked! It'll be good to get away from the city.
For those of you wondering... nope Paul and I haven't gotten back together again. We just both want to get out of town and we both have Sunday, Monday and Tuesday off so we are going camping together. Plus we get along well and so we know we won't be at each others throats or anything like that.
Well I best get a bit of studying in before I have to head off to my naturopathic appointment. Those exams won't pass themselves... and I certainly don't want an other 3 out of 20! Ouch that hurt the ego...

I'm better at dancing then crocheting!

Man Gillian has patience! I'm retardedly slow when it comes to learning to crochet! I think we spent two hours working on a certain piece... it's about the size of a toonie :P and to think I'll be making a blanket... oh well I have until August! I wonder if they allow crochet hooks on the airplane... We'll see.
A good day today... Clinic was good. I had three guests. We've always talked about energy and how we can pick up energy of our guests. I'd felt this before but never really experienced something very obvious until today. I was working on the head and neck of my last guest, she'd fallen asleep, and I felt some sadly beautiful energy. It was so weird, I cannot explain it. I sat there and tears started to fall. It was SO weird! I was glad she was sleeping... maybe this is why I could feel it more. I don't know! Anyways neat feeling, neat reaction, really interesting energy.
Well tomorrow's an other day :) NeuroAnatomy and Anatomy and Physiology on saturday... rather brutal! I really want to go out Salsa dancing... or at least practice. I got to practice a bit with Ben, he showed me a few new moves (which I can't recall what they are now... but I remember which way to turn). This is like my new addiction... it's sad.

I got a letter from the Hawaiian Government

I was surprised to get the letter and while I was opening it, I couldn't help but think "Uh Oh! I'm in troubbles!". I can't remember being naughty in Hawaii and I didn't drink so... that means I was good. The only thing I could attribute it to, was that you'd get fined if you were on Little Beach (or Big Beach... I think) past 7:30 and one night we left at 7:25. But they couldn't have tracked me down... or maybe they did. Anyways it turns out it was just a survey... fiouf!
So far my week has been good. Tuesday with Eric was fun :) He's an easy person to be around. We made yummy dinner and chit chatted a bit. Nothing eventful, just good company. Wednesday I picked out my things to learn to crochet (which took forever cuz there were SO many different things to chose from... who knew crocheting would be so difficult??). I am really happy with the colours I picked out. I'll post a pic later (I'm in bed writing now, it's getting rather late).
Then tonight I had my salsa dancing course! I had a bit of a dilemma as to which shoes to wear to class (3 inch heels or 1 inch) so during break, Jason and I did a few salsa steps. He's a really good leader, he made me look like I actually knew what I was doing. So I settled on the 3 inchers :) Class was awesome. We learnt about connection and how to do spins (two different ways, one from a New Yorker step and the other from a basic step but we - the woman - spun three times). I am still really enjoying the class! It's great to get to dance with different leaders (guys, girls are followers). There are other classes on Wednesday and i am almost tempted to do those as well. Until I do that, I am going to keep practicing with my high heels (made it through an entire class... feeling a bit sore now though... massaging in clinic tomorrow might be interesting if my thighs are rubber) and maybe I can convince either Jason or Ben to help me out with the more complicated things. We'll see.
For now I am heading to bed. I'm exhausted and tomorrow's gonna be a long day.

13 year old boy stabbed and killed, 3 other teens in hospital

When I read this news headline, my heart sank and I could feel my throat tighten up. It's things like this that make me wonder what the hell society's come to? Sure we don't know whether he was part of a gang or not... but still! At 13 you should still be playing with your GI Joe's or something!
This happened on Monday so it was on Tuesday's headlines. I figured this might just be an other headline that will come and go like other horrific ones but I am constantly reminded of this every time I go to and from school. This 13 year old got stabbed on the corner of main and terminal and there's always some flowers there and people mourning.
It's hard to see that. I also don't quite understand why it's affected me enough for me to want to blog about it. Oh well.

Totally Stoked for Friday!

Well it's been quite the weekend. Yesterday was an awesome day :) I got to hang out with Paul and Teako. We chilled at the doggie beach while Teaks ran around and got all dirty. Then from there we walked to Granville Island to pick up a few things for dinner and to grab a bite to eat for lunch (my brie, avocado and tomato panini was so delicious!). While we were at Granville Island the skies opened up and it was a down right down pour! We figured it would stop (or slow down) by the time we picked up things for dinner. But it didn't. So we bought an umbrella and walked back.
We made the best salad ever! Our plans were to have a bit of salad then make a stir fry but we ate the big batch of salad and never made the stir fry. It was so good. For those looking for a killer salad to make here's what was it in.
1/2 a large bowl full of baby greens
1/4 of a red bell pepper
1/4 of a green bell pepper
1 tomato
3 carrots (shredded would work best, we just cut em into pieces but they were hard to fork)
1/2 an avocado
1/4 of a cucumber (peel on, seeds in)
1/4 pound of machine peeled shrimp (the teenie ones)
lime coconut ginger vinaigrette from the stock pot on Granville island (as much you want, we just put a little bit and it gave a wonderful flavor).
Mix all together and voila! If you want carbs with that, I suggest Greek style pitas warmed in the oven with tsatziki and/or homous. Yums :)
We were going to watch a movie but instead fell asleep watching Mythbusters.
Today I cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed the whole house, did laundry and washed kitty's litter box... well that was this morning. Then I did three assignments (one of which I am SUPER proud of! :) )... now I should be studying but I am going to head to bed early and study tomorrow AM for my final in hydro (both written and oral practical).
This week's looking eventful which has got me pretty stoked. Tomorrow I've got my two finals, but then I meet with Eric, Wednesday I am going to go to Micheal's to get some yarn and crochet stuff, Thursday is Latin night (salsa dancing, Latin food then a Latin type music concert with Darla and her friends), Friday I meet with Gill and she'll teach me to crochet then Saturday nothing but I'll probably stay home and crochet and then it's the weekend. Of course all of this is after school and between studying and stuff but at least I have things to look froward to.
I am so stoked for Friday because Gill will teach me to crochet! After talking to my Grand Maman this weekend (she's in a lot of pain due to her osteoarthritis) I decided that it would be nice if I would make her a knitted blanket (that's my pattern!). But Gill told me that knitting a blanket will take FOREVER! so she'll teach me to crochet! Grand Maman always knitted me sweaters when I was a kid so I thought it would be nice to make her something too. I'll post pictures as I go along so everyone can see my crocheting skills (or lack of... though I think I'll do quite well).
For now it's time to go to bed. I've gotta get up early to study. Yay Study *sighs* :)

Hi Ho Hi Ho it's off to Winnipeg I go...

And now you're thinking "what the hell? Winnipeg?! WHY?". The answer is family. Otherwise I wouldn't go. I can't wait! I am so psyched! I am going to leave on the 28th of July after my last final exam and return on the 9th of August (so that I'm only missing one salsa dancing class) and then on the 10th I am going to take the greyhound to Kelowna to camp with my family until the 12th! Then I am back to school on the 13th!

Salsa... not only for eating

Well I had my first salsa dancing class yesterday and I think I found my new favorite thing to do :) I had such an awesome time! I caught on quicker then I thought... but I also forgot quicker then I thought I would. Damn! Oh well we've got Ben and Jason at school that both do Salsa dancing so I can ask them... I think I can remember but I forget if the steps are on a 6 count or an 8. No matter what it was good fun. There were enough guys to go around as well (actually there were a few too many)... on more then one occasion I was paired with a guy who was quite good and gave very important pointers (don't look at your feet, take smaller steps, firm up your arms, let me lead... ok so I needed quite a few pointers). He was very serious about dancing so didn't really crack a smile the entire time but out of everyone that I danced with, I enjoyed dancing with him the best. There was also a break dancer guy who'd never done salsa before and he was REALLY fun to dance with... though we did more of a freestyle salsa. It was good fun.
Well I'm looking froward to my next class. Towards the end of the class, I overheard a girl say to someone else that it's best to start dancing with high heels because then you're doing the basics with heels. This made sence so I looked through my shoe collection (which consists mostly of flats) and found this pair of shoes... These are my "I own the world" shoes cuz when I wear them I'm 6 feet tall (or just about... I tower over everyone anyways). They'll do until I found leather bottomed shoes (easier for turning and basically what you need for this kinda dancing). I am also interested in finding a partner that I can dance with. I'm kinda disappointed that I didn't continue with my dancing when I was a kid. So I guess this is me catching up now and totally loving it. I don't think I've smiled and laughed so much in an hour since Paul and I broke up. It was good. It also helped me realize that I am better off single (not cuz there were many guys...). While Paul and I were dating I wanted to take dancing classes and initially he did too. I never took classes because if I learnt then I knew he wouldn't join later cuz then I'd be better then him (and most guys don't like that). So I never did. Now I don't have that holding me back and I kinda wish I would have been more selfish and taken these classes sooner (like two years ago).
Well clinic is only 7 minutes away and I am not in my clinic uniform nor do I have my room set up (naughty me).

Not really feelin' it...

So we've got two exams tomorrow... I am not really feelin the studying right now. Mind you I haven't been able to get into the swing of things lately. I just want to rebel and not to homework... maybe I should go on strike... no wait only I would really be affected by that.
Otherwise things have been good. It's sunny and that's a nice change. I downloaded a bunch of new music (from itunes... I'm a good little girl) which mostly consists of David Gray, Blue October, Keith Urban, Lynn something something, Daughtry and Carry Underwood. That's been keeping me plenty entertained and actually quite happy.
Yes I've found a new found affinity for country music. I never really liked it... but just a week or so ago I started to watch the country music channel while getting ready and now I like it! I guess it all started with me downloading "thank god I'm a country boy" (this came from my auntie Mireille and Jeff's wedding... my cousin Joey was quite drunk and while I'd never seen Joey dance before he sure as hell danced to that song. It made for a good laugh and awesome memories.). So if anyone knows of any good country music... let me know :)
Well I best go do something... like sleep :) My first Salsa lessons are tomorrow! I am VERY excited! I kinda wish I had a partner to dance with me that way I can practice (then again mum and dad have been taking dancing lessons for the past little while so maybe I can dance with dad). We'll see how it goes :)

Multitude of things :)

An other boring Sunday (well except for the fact that it was mothers day :p ). I didn't do much this afternoon other then sort through my cloths - mum and dad are leaving for Winnipeg on Wednesday and every time someone heads back to visit the family, I go through my closet and send any cloths that may not fit or that I do not wear. I also had an underwear drawer issue where it was way too full and everything was tangled up together. I took everything out and was amazed at the amount of underwear and bras I had. I counted them and ended up with 60 underwear and 10 bras... only 8 pairs of socks (damn sock monster keeps eating my socks). Now my drawers are all neat and tidy (not that messy was a problem before... cloths are stuffable)...
I planted the orchid that Frank sent me from Hawaii. Now it's chilling next to my pulmeria that I've been growing (which is doing very well). I am so bad at gardening that I hope that these gorgeous plants will survive. So far pulmeria's doing well... orchid... I just planted it today and it hasn't died yet so I guess that's a good sign :)
Just a few minutes ago, I signed up for Salsa lessons! I am pretty stoked! I've wanted to take salsa lessons since... well since Paul and I started dating and he expressed some interest but yet never felt like going. I kept on waiting until the day where he might want to go and well that day didn't come, instead we're broken up. So now I am taking the classes! They start on Thursday so I'll write about them then. This'll be interesting though cuz I am going on my own and though I danced as a kid, I never really did much dancing after that. It'll be interesting. Anyways I am going to head to bed now... my throat has been itchy all day and I am really hoping that I am not getting sick! That wouldn't be any good.

Happy Mothers Day :)

Happy Mothers Day Mommy (and all the other mothers out there as well)! Today we celebrate everything our mothers mean to us. To me, Mum is someone that I can talk to... she's someone who's always there with a shoulder to cry on... and she gives great hugs. I am very fortunate to have a Mum like her.
This morning I was thinking of my cousin Michelle, who's mother passed away of breast cancer not this past Christmas but the one before that... my heart aches for her because I can just imagine what she's gone though and what she is feeling today... while everyone is celebrating their mothers... hers isn't with her. But then I think of how lucky she was to even have known her mother and that her mother loved her as much as she did.
A lot of people don't have moms for some reason. Maybe they were put up for adoption, maybe their mother passed away when they were young, maybe their mothers left them or maybe they were there but they didn't love their child. All of those things are worse then having a mother who was there and loved you for part of your life. I know how hard life is even with the most wonderful family... I don't want to think how hard it would be without the support of family. Though some say that they are fine with it... I can't help but think that maybe deep down inside they are wishing they had a family who loved them.
We're fortunate. My brother and I wanted to show Mum how much she's appreciated so yesterday we went to Figaro's Garden and to Home Depot to get some things to make a flower box for mum. Well we bought the flower box and the hard wear to hang it at Home Depot (I love Home Depot :) it almost ranks up there with Ikea) then walked from the Home Depot on terminal to Figaro's Garden on 3rd and Victoria with all our gardening paraphenalia and picked out some lovely flowers to go in the flower box. We then bussed home with all our stuff (we got some weird looks cuz how many people bus with big plants?) and then hid all our things in my room. While Mum and Dad were having dinner, we were sneaking around and putting together our flower box. We even got to use power tools to make holes (to steady the heart on top of the climbing honey suckle plant). At the end my room was covered in dirt and we managed to lose a slug (who's roaming free in my room right now...) but we were so proud of... the most gorgeous flower box we'd ever seen.
This morning at 6am we made a banner and snuck around to hang the box on the balcony that way Mum could see it when she got up this morning. I went back to sleep and missed her reaction but she came downstairs to tell my bro and I how much she loved the basket that we made her. Sure it's such a simple thing but I hope that every time she looks at it, she's reminded of how much she's loved by her two kids.

Hidden talent!

This is a talent that was so hidden that I didn't even know about it until today! While sitting in Systemic Pathology class this morning I was slightly bored and being in the program I am in... I've discovered muscles that I never really thought I had. I looked at my reflection in my laptop screen and noticed that I was "flapping" my ears! WOAH! I always thought that was a neat talent and it turns out I have it! Sure the little muscles are a bit on the weak side so it's more of a feeble wave but I am sure the more I get bored in class, the more I can strengthen them little muscles. How this will come in handy? I have NO clue! But it had me entertained for about 10 minutes... then my ears got sore.
Yep today was a good day. Clinic was uneventful... so Maja and I went and got Slurpee's (one for Darla as well) and a pack of Reese peanut butter pieces at seven eleven. You can just imagine the sugar rush that followed :P it was entertaining! I am sure we scared Ben (our new clinic supervisor - along with Suzanne) though. He TAed a class earlier this week... and so this was really his second time teaching/supervising us and... yeah he got the uncensored version of our class. Poor guy. Maybe that's why Martin quit...

What is this bright thing in the sky?

I think there was a bright thing like this one in Maui... and if I remember correctly, I think it might be called the sun... Hell it's been so long I can't remember.
Somewhere someone went click, turned on the sun and turned up the heat (not by too much though but the little change is greatly appreciated.) Before this week our weather wasn't that rainy but it was still cloudy. I guess that because it wasn't raining, I thought it was nice out but I guess it was just cloudy. So I've been appreciating the change in weather. I've busted out my flip flops and have been struttin my stuff in my capris (even though it's a bit chilly). It's funny because all of Vancouver is SO antsy for summer that most people are in their summer cloths but they all have goose bumps. I always thought it was warmer in May but maybe I am wrong.
Otherwise, things have been alright. I got a wonderful care package from Frank from Hawaii which was awesome :) This is my second care package :) I got one from Mum and my bro when they were in Belgium and I was in Australia. Maja also got a little something from Frank as well which was super nice (she was totally stoked, it was cute). Who's Frank you ask? Frank's a guy Maja, Pam and I met in Maui at the Banana Bungalow... actually we were on the road to Hana tour and both Frank and I were car sick (not puke sick but nauseous sick). I was sitting in the front of the van and kept checking if he wanted to switch... He also spent a day with us at little beach and we had a great time.
School has been school. Being we're a class full of girls you can imagine that there's drama. And yes we're currently dealing with drama and it's a bit draining. They say I have to separate myself from it but it's difficult when it's your friend. Oh well we'll see what today brings. The construction men have been out all week :) it's made for good eye candy at lunch. I took a pic on tuesday and that's the one you see I'll take a better one cuz they blend in the building with this one). I should have taken one yesterday because they were in their short sleeved shirts hammering away :)
My neuroanatomy exam went well. I'm damn proud because I got 80%... and it's neuro!!! GO ME! Today I have a mid quarter that I havn't studied for but I have lunch time to study... So we'll see how that goes.
Anyways I best get ready to head off to school. yay school *bleh*. It's ok I had a nice little surprise... I got to talk to my best friend Maggie this morning and she's in France! Lucky bum :) her trip is going well though it's rained for the past few days. I reminded her that she was in Europe and it shouldn't matter so much what the weather's like... I'll send her some sunshine anyways.

Kitchen floor is DONE!

I can see the light at the end of the renovation tunnel! Our kitchen floor is done! All that's left now is to seal it, wait 24 hrs for that to set, put the appliances back, finish painting and then we can use the kitchen. The upstairs washroom is almost finished as well. All that's missing there is to hook up the sink (though that seems like it's going to take some major puzzle solving). The entrance still doesn't have a floor but we have a door (which can't be used cuz... I dunno why). Anyways we're almost done and now that the floor's finished I really think it was a good decision. It's nice :) It just makes our cupboards look kinda ratty :( and those won't be changed. Ah wells.

Ok study break over. Better hop to it.

No more tired me...

Well I think I've solved it... I've been exhausted all week and was good for nothing yesterday. So yesterday I probably slept for a total of 16 hours throughout the day. My day consisted of waking at 7:30am checking e-mail and surfing the net for a few hours then going back to sleep, waking up, checking e-mail again, taking a shower, going back to sleep then walking up at 5 feeling refreshed and chirpy. I guess my body needed it.
Matt and I went out bowling and eventually Gavin (his roomie) and Alexis (his roomie's date) joined us. This was a bit awkward because Matt and I were just hanging out and Gavin and Alexis were on a date. It was good fun though but for some reason I completely sucked at bowling and managed to break 100 the first game but second game I only got 70. Anyways it wasn't too good for the ego... and thank god I wasn't there to impress cuz I am sure I did just the opposite. No big deal tho I had a good time.
Today I am set on studying and doing assignments! I want to catch up now... and finally I feel that I have the energy to do so. I'll ease myself into it slowly. get started on Professional development and hydrotherapy and then work my way up to neuroanatomy (which we have a mid term on this week *freak*).
Oh and it turns out that I have enough points to fly to the peg and Ottawa/Montreal which is pretty exciting. So during my two weeks off I am planning on going to visit la famille back in the peg and friends in Montreal and Ottawa. A lot of people have been telling me that Montreal is the place to go for a good time so... I think I'll go :) Plus there's Jenny, Celine, Scarlett, Melody (well she's in the boonies I think but I am sure we can drag her out of the boonies) there so it would be good to visit them. Then I'd go to Ottawa to visit Nadine :) While in the peg I'll visit the whole family which will be good and maybe we can go camping (being I'd miss camping here in Vancouver if I were to fly east).
Man I miss my family! I miss my good friends as well... I guess that's what happens when you grow older and busier. Well I best get crackin on this homework stuff. Sadly Grand papa's trick of sleeping on your books doesn't work... I tired that when I was a kid when I had to memorise my concours d'art oratoire (I am sure I spelt that wrong) needless to say it didn't work.

50th Post...

Whether this is something to celebrate, I don't know... but I couldn't really think of a better title so this works :)
Yesterday was a good day... though it was exhausting. With Neuroanatomy in the morning being shortened it gave me the opportunity to study which paid off in the end cuz I got 19/20 on my mid quarter in joint mobs.
We had quite the treat as well while sitting in lecture class. Being the sun was out, we opened the blinds so we could see the sunshine... in the end we saw more then that. Our of the corner of my eye I saw this person climb up a ladder up to a window on the building next to ours (it's under construction and has been since we've started so this wasn't a rare occurrence). I looked over and it was a good looking young and very fit construction guy (wearing a t-shirt with cut off sleeves so we could see his arms). Yes it was entertaining to watch him hammer away in the sunshine. He was thin but had probably the nicest arms I'd ever seen. Maja (who was sitting in front of me) made a sound of approval and turned to face me to see if I'd seen him as well. I had. Our teacher saw that we were clearly distracted and asked us what we were looking at. We pointed out to mr gorgeous construction guy and now the whole class was looking at him (though still in our seats, we didn't have our face pressed up against the glass like idiots). It was like some cheesy shot in a movie... anyways it kept me (and a few girls in our class) entertained for a while.
That afternoon, we found out that Martin, our teacher for joint mobs and clinic supervisor (well one of them, Suzanne is still staying) will no longer be teaching so that was a bit of a bummer.
My evening went well... I didn't go out with the girls. I just stayed home and took it easy then went to bed early. Today I was supposed to go to Bowen with Maja but she isn't feeling up to it. Anyways so we'll see what today brings.

Last day of the week

Well here we are, it's Saturday again. Today should be a fairly easy day. I have neuroanatomy in the morning (half the class is lecture and the other half of the class is review for our mid term that's next week) and then we have a mid quarter in joint mobs and then lecture for the rest of the class.
The past few days have been uneventful yet interesting. On Thursday, Darla and I went to the Shark Club to watch our Canucks battle the Ducks. It was an intense game but in the end we lost in second over time. I really think they shouldn't have let that goal count though. The Ducks totally knocked down one of our Canucks and EVERYONE (except for the ref) thought it was going to be a penalty. But somehow a determined Duck scored. Luongo was signaling to the ref that there should be a penalty and boom they scored while he wasn't 100% focused. I gotta admit, I almost cried. I am damn proud of our nucks and to have lost like that... I felt it was really disappointing.
Yesterday was rather uneventful. Maja hasn't been at school since Wednesday afternoon because she's been taking a few mental days. I don't blame her. It's pretty rough. It's hard without her there though... anyways I'm sure she'll be back today and then if we're still on for Bowen tomorrow we'll be able to vent and hopefully get enough out of our system that we can make it through an other week.
We had clinic yesterday which was a challenge because for some reason I didn't feel like touching anyone. Because we didn't have an admin person to take over my shifts, I pushed through and while working on my second guest I had an anxiety attack. I don't know what to think about that or feel because though I am tempted to feel sorry for my guest... I just don't really care. It's unfortunate that it happened but it did and I am not really going to beat myself up over it. I'm quite hard on myself and I think I need to lay up for a while.
No decision has been made over the restructuring of the program. We haven't even had a meeting. It doesn't look too promising though. I'm fine with that. Though I will still vote for it when the time comes.
Minette is being rather cute this morning. She's been following me like a little dog when I was getting ready and then was quite content sitting on my lap purring like a mac truck. She did get up once or twice to play with my vitamins... bat them around on my desk and walk on my keyboard. Now she's settled herself behind my laptop on my desk. What a cutie. I wish my life was as simple as hers. Just for a week or two.
The reality is that it's not and I did get up to study and as I often do... I procrastinated and haven't done any studying yet. So I better get to that.

Be gentle with yourself

What a day! I was going to take the day off because last night was such a rough one (falling back asleep was no easy task and when I did, it was filled with nightmares and tossing and turning). I contemplated not going to school and just resting but I couldn't afford to lose 2% per class plus miss a quiz in A&P. So I went. I was quite pleased to see that it was raining out. Actually it was more like a down pour. I love it when it rains... I don't like pointless rain that you kinda have to cover up but not really... Anyways so I dressed in my finest taiga jacket and busted out my umbrella and headed off for school.
Because I felt overwhelmed and wasn't quite ready to be at school as fast as public transit could have gotten me there, I got off at Broadway and Main and walked to school in the rain. It was so nice to just take time for myself. Sure it was as simple as walking in the rain but it made my morning. By the time I got to school I had a stupid grin on my face and was soaked from head to toe. (I took my camera with me and the pictures in this entry are from my walk.)
Neuroanatomy class was uneventful. I'm fortunate to have the teacher that we do because she's awesome. Despite her doing her best to make the subject interesting, I still crashed and had NO energy. I also found out that we had a class rep meeting during lunch hour. It was supposed to last 20 minutes but it lasted all lunch hour.
I went straight to class after lunch and my teacher gave me 5 to eat and regroup. Then we did the quiz and I ended up getting 4/10. I was not impressed but I knew I wasn't feeling up to par so I wasn't overly surprised. I was just going through the paces in order to get me 2% for being there. After the quiz, we started chapter 23: the respiratory system. I had hardly written down 10 words when I started to cry. I left the class and then just broke down in an other classroom. I think I am tired of running on empty. My teacher came out to see if everything was ok and I just told her that I was burnt out and tired of pushing myself. She then told me that she wouldn't dock me 2% if I went home. I thanked her and told her I should go talk to the Dean. We are still sorting out what to do with my future at the school.
The only thing that was holding me back was that I wanted (and still want to) graduate with Maja, Pam and Darla. I love those girls and they are the reasons that I get up in the morning and drag my ass to school.
Now I figure if I make any changes, I'll end up in the same class as Stephanie. She's our 6th musketeer. Then if any of the other girls go part time or take a term off, I'll be in the same class as them as well. As much as I'd love to stay with them, I really have to consider what is best for me. In 30 years from now, or even in 5, I won't have to live with them, but I'll have to live and deal with me.
This afternoon I've just taken it easy. I'm enjoying spending time to myself and cuddling with my kitty (she must know something is wrong cuz she's actually laying on me)... I think that is how I am going to spend the rest of my evening... reflect on what and where I am in life.

Hey! Anxiety! It's been a while!

I am not too sure when my last anxiety attack was but I can tell you that they were not missed! Now here I am, exhausted, waiting for a peaceful sleep to find me again. Sure I could try to fall asleep again but I'll be awakened by chills and anxious feelings as soon as I close my eyes. It's weird, I feel that it's gone but then as soon as I close my eyes the feeling comes back. The routine is usually to get up, walk around, go pee, drink water, turn the light on, go back to bed, lay in bed reading or writing, then in half an hour attempt sleep (with the light on), if sleep comes, good, if anxious feeling returns, continue with reading / writing in bed until sleep does come.
I hate it! Before Paul and I started dating, I'd go online and talk to him in the middle of the night. But he's no longer on this late (nor is anyone else, my friends have become reasonable). When Paul and I were dating and we were sleeping together he'd soothe me and cuddle me as if I was a little child with a nightmare and that seemed to help the anxiety go away a little bit faster. Now I'm back to dealing with it on my own.
I can still feel it in my chest. My heater is working full blast because this time something new accompanied my anxiety. Chills! I was SO cold when I woke up. I also had feelings of inadequacy. So I imagine this is what my anxiety was about. I'm not too sure. Well my naturopath said that I should be doing 5 minutes of diaphragmatic breathing so maybe I should give that a shot now. I should have started this long ago because deep breathing is very beneficial but I'm too much of a chest breather and deep breathing actually hurts (all the more reason to do it then, I know). At least I spend a few minutes doing it before bed (deep breathing don't get any funny ideas) and usually end up falling asleep so that's a good start.
Well I am going to give that a shot. I am too tired to put up with my body's shenanigans! Yet as always, it will get it's way. I know.

Awe we losed :(

Our Nucks lost tonight and I am sad :( Now the ducks have an unfair advantage cuz they're sitting at 3-1 :( We have to just win 3 games in a row then we advance to semifinals... Go Canucks Go! *sighs* Well time for bed... At least I can still dream that the Canucks won :)