Study break

The weekend has already come and gone. With the blink of an eye I arrived in Winnipeg and left. I realized why my family is the best most awesome amazing family around. Here's a quick recap of the weekend.
5:20am: rise and shine... get ready to make my way to the airport!!!
7:05am: stepped off the skytrain and blinked back tears when I saw four single travelers swing their large backpack over their shoulders and walk towards the airport.
8:09am: my flight that was supposed to leave at 8 hasn't started to board yet and talk is that it won't leave for an other little while because they need to get a new plane.
9:13am: my flight leaves, I am not on it because I would have missed my connection in Calgary. I'm waiting for news to see when I can get into Winnipeg.
9:30am: I get news that I won't be in Winnipeg until 7:50pm... the wedding starts at 5. I am pretty freaking upset/devastated/angry and anything else you could imagine.
1:30pm: On the plane to Edmonton, when the engine fires up for take off I smile and think of all the wonderful times I've heard that noise and how it always takes me somewhere nice :)
7:50pm: Arrive in Winnipeg via Edmonton after an uneventful trip. I meet with Dielle and Seig who left the wedding to come and pick me up! Glad to see their smiling faces again!
8:40pm: Arrive at the transcona country club for Stephane and Dasha's wedding celebration! I am overwhelmed by the love that fills the room. Most, if not all of the Fiolas and the Fontaine are there... and we dance until the wee hours of the morning. Jacqueline mentions she's going to Asia and will have a month and a half alone. Dad surprises me with a cold, soggy Mrs. Mike's burger (without meat) at 1am and it's the most delicious thing I'd ever eaten!
Sunday am until mid afternoon: wake up and hang out with Remi (who's couch I crashed on at 3am) until Mom and Dad come by to pick me up for the Fontaine get together. There the majority of the Fontaine clan is there... Grand Maman, Grand Papa, Aunties, Uncles, Cousins, cousins wives/husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends and fiances (congrats Karine & Brian) and little cousins. Amazing breakfasts, jello eating competitions, jello food fight, water fight, volley ball, swimming in the pool and catching up with the amazing Fontaine's ensue.
Sunday afternoon to evening: time to leave the Fontaines, I don't want to go but the Fiola cousin get together at Remi's place is up next. Again, more great food (this time I got to play in the kitchen with my cousin Remi, Suzie and their friend), gin and tonic, awesome cousins to catch up with and just an all around great time. I realize how lucky I am to have these people in my life. All of them (even those I don't know very well) are truly amazing people. Jacqueline fills me in a little more about her Asia trip... I tell her I'll look into it. I smile at the thought of board exams being two days away and think of how grateful I am to have had such an amazing study break.
1:00am: fall asleep on Grand Maman and Grand Papa Fontaine's couch.
5:30am: rise and shine, time to get to the airport... I think I am still drunk... I smell like camp fire. chuckle at the thought of being thigh to thigh next to a stranger in this state.
7am: plane leaves... on time :)
7:40am Vancouver time: plane arrive 20 minutes early!!!
8:20: Get this! I am HOME!!! Thanks to the Canada line, coming home is quicker (and cheaper) by public transit is faster then a cab! Wow.

Today I've been recovering, napping more then I should. Yes, I have registered for a 20 day Laos, Northern Thailand and Cambodia trip and will most likely be staying an extra month and a half... and, if the piggy bank is still intact at that time, I'll book an extra 40 days in the Philippines :) Oh yeah... board exams are in less then 48 hours away. Ready or not, I am won't know until I actually get the results back. I hope I am because I am tired of studying and want to get on with my life!

Jumping Rivers

see... i envision this board exam like jumping a river. we've practiced our running and we've jumped over streams. now it's the true test... can we jump the raging river? worse comes to worse, we jump and fall in the river, we get carried down a ways, clamber back out and then try again. best case scenario, we make it over and continue on our way. no one said there's ever been anything wrong with getting your feet wet... plus, you never know where the current will take you and what's down stream

Our bodies...

Are pretty darn amazing! I'm enjoying all of the studying that I have been able to do unfortunately I don't think I'll be able to get it all in. What I would give for an extra week! Then again if I had an extra week, I am sure I'd want an other. I'll do what I can... and so far, what I am doing is pretty darn good. :)

Renewed hope for A&P

After a 5 hour review with Maja and a 1 hour nap, Kristin told me about Prof. Diamond. She's a professor at University of Berkley and she teaches A&P. She has a multitude of videos on youtube and they're of her lecturing different parts of A&P. For the past three hours I've been looking at the videos and calling out answers when I know them. Mom and Dad most likely think I am crazy... but then again... what else is new? So far I've found this to be a huge help and I actually look forward to watching more of the videos tomorrow morning. I think I'll be ready to tackle this board exam... but then again, feelings of readiness come and go. With one breath I can say I am ready and next thing I know, I rediscover a pile of information and I realize that I am not quite ready. I'm enjoying taking in all of this information. I feel like a giant sponge. Hopefully I am soaking up the right information and I'll be asked the questions that I know answers to (or that I can figure out) during the board exam. Now, it's bed time. Time to let the information settle and let my little neurons in my brain form new pathways.

Board Exams

So now with Europe canceled, what do I do with my board exams? Of course if I knew that I would be here from October to April I wouldn't be working 7 days a week and studying in my spare time. Instead Id be working 4 days a week and studying every day! Priorities shift. But I figured that I wouldn't need my registration because I would be in Europe until April and I deliberately booked my return ticket so that I would be back April 5th (in time to write my exam April 19th). So if I passed this September. Yay! If not, ah well.
Now... well Ill be here. Because the exam is in three parts I am studying really hard for both Jurisprudence and Clinical Sciences, leaving Anatomy and Physiology in the dust. I figure if I pass both of those in September then I can focus on passing the A&P portion and my OP in February. Sure I am still going to write the A&P portion and if I am smarter then I think... yippee! Unfortunately A&P and I are like oil and water. No matter how much sweet talking I do to it, we cant seem to come to an understanding. I need to coax it into my brain and then it stays... but it takes a lot of coaxing and a lot of time. It took me two weeks to cover and properly understand 4 chapters... when you have 22 chapters to cover... well you'll be moving at a snail pace... and right now I don't have time for snail pace. The part that I actually enjoy about A&P is that when I take the time to review it (or relearn it) I actually enjoy it, so I am ok with taking the time to go through it.
Luckily I enjoy working as a bodyworker, so an other couple of months doing so is no skin off my back. I am sure the school will raise their eyebrows if I fail but I think they'll be the only ones to care. I don't believe this reflects my ability as a therapist because I am sure I can pass the clinical portion and if I were to do the OP I could pass that too. Unfortunately the OP cant be done until I pass all of the written portions.
Ah well... it is what it is. Ill see how things go. Now... back to studying.

Europe Canceled...

for now anyways.

Ah, what a coincidence. Just as I typed this, Mom came upstairs and told Dad "well we have Florence booked". So my parents are going to Europe, but they always have been :) They are going with their friends Debbie and Geoff and Uncle Steve and Auntie Marcy.
I sent Cesare an e-mail and got no response. I also called the hostel and was told he wasn't there. Strange, usually he works at that time but what ever. By mid week I noticed that he had been on facebook, therefore most likely read the e-mail but still chose not to reply. Fair enough, there was my answer. I didn't have to wait until Saturday to cancel my flight and medical insurance and what ever else. So off I went to the travel centre to cancel everything. Once I spoke to the lady she told me it was 100% non refundable. Eff!!! That's a lot of money! I asked them if they were sure and choked back tears. Not because I was sad about Cesare but because I was now over $1000 poorer and I felt like a loser for jumping in blindly. I walked out of there, defeated. Those feelings soon changed from defeat to complete and utter frustration towards Cesare for not telling me that he didn't want me to come! After all, the day before I booked the ticket he called me while I was at the flight centre and I told him I was going to buy my ticket. Still, he said nothing! He also didn't say anything when I called him the day I bought my ticket. I went home, fuming. Determined to call the hostel to give him a piece of my mind. Once home, I called. Luckily he wasn't there. After fuming for a while. I calmed down and realize that I was pissed off at Cesare for nothing. Really it's not HIS fault that my ticket isn't refundable.
Later that day, I got a phone call from the travel agent saying that for the first time ever they were able to refund part of my ticket. Apparently my agent felt sorry for me so she decided to call the company anyways to see if they would cancel. Usually they don't but my agent and their representative have a good rapport and for a $175 processing fee and a $370 penalty I'll be able to get my refund... or part of it anyways. With my medical, I should be able to get most of it back... I think the penalty for that is only $25 or something like that.
So it was an expensive risk but I still believe that it was worth it. Did I learn anything... well other then boys are stupid... not really. I am still going to take risks, even if they may not seem totally logical to everyone. I believe that if you don't take risks in life you're not going to get very far. I'm a risk taker, so what if I get my heart smooshed along the way. If I've learnt anything over the past couple of years is that my heart heals (especially with the support and love of my friends and family) and life goes on.
So now instead of spending my 24th Birthday in Milan, I'll most likely be spending it somewhere warm with my friend Jenny. When I told her about all this, she said that we should go on an all inclusive for a week (or two) somewhere warm to celebrate my birthday. We're going to find the cheapest all inclusive and go. I am already looking forward to that (especially the warmth...). Maybe I should just move somewhere warm and then I won't always flee the cold.

...Cupid's shot was lost on us.

So I haven't been blogging or twittering (tweeting?) or really doing anything other then working, studying and working out. With Cesare and I's relationship going the way it was, I decided to pick up and other job (one with more steady hours/a predictable pay cheque) so that I could have more money in the piggy bank for when I went to St. Moritz, Switzerland. Our communications continued, nothing seemed to have changed. I worked 7 days a week, studying when I was on call or had time off. I'd hit the gym every other day and that would give me energy to tackle anything. Sure there never seemed to be enough hours in the day and I was a little bit stressed out but I was enjoying everything I was doing. I kept my eye on the prize and figured that no matter what happens, it's all worth it and I worked hard for it.
Because air fare prices were climbing, I decided to purchase my plane ticket! I did! :) I was so excited when I booked my flight arriving in Milan, October 23rd and returning April 5th. I couldn't contain my excitement so I called Cesare at the hostel (I avoided calling him because he's having fun in Hawaii, as long as he called me, I didn't feel the need to call him on the public hostel phone). When I told him, he was excited as well! We talked about what it would be like to live together even for a short while.
And that was our last conversation. Since then he hasn't returned any phone calls or e-mails (and he's still on facebook, updating his status so he's not dead or in the hospital... which is a good thing). Well that's strange! It's also good to know now instead of when I am at the Milan airport two days before my birthday and he doesn't show up. Yeah, that would suck. So, our last communication was on the 9th, we're the 16th now. I've sent him an e-mail asking him if he's had a change of heart, can't make it in September or if he just needs time to himself, to let me know. Still, nothing.
Personally I'm a big fan of communication whether it be good or bad, I think it's important to talk to one an other about things so for me this is a giant red flag... actually it's more like a red elephant with "this is a bad idea" written in French, English and Italian on him! But I'm a softie and I can't give up like that on something that seemed so good. So today I sent him an other e-mail telling him that I'd like to talk to him about this but if I don't hear from him I am going to cancel my ticket (I'm giving him until Saturday). We'll see if that sparks communication. If not... well no Europe for me this year.
Am I upset? Well, not as much as I was earlier this week. With my brother's wedding, I tried to get over it so that I wouldn't be mopey. I also have to be realistic and I can't claim that I really knew Cesare because really, we only spent 7 or so days together in paradise so... that can make anyone pretty freaking amazing. But I was (and maybe still am) willing to give this a go. Even if it doesn't work out and I end up in Switzerland, I am a big girl that doesn't like drama so I'd deal with it like an adult and we could remain friends. If that doesn't work, I am totally unopposed to coming home early. It could be an adventure... and I'm always up for an adventure.
But I am not going to hold my breath. I sent him some photos* via snail mail (all of which were similar to this one but different parts, and all with cloths on) with a simple note that said 'see you in September' and that didn't get a reaction... so if THAT doesn't get a reaction then I think there's my answer.
Ah well. It was fun while it lasted. Daydreaming about running away with a beautiful Italian man that's great in the sack was fun and it'll most likely continue, but I might just leave it as daydreaming. We'll see what the next few days bring.

*Photos taken by Christel Lanthier

Cupid is shooting arrows!

Everyone's falling in love, celebrating anniversaries, getting married or getting engaged! It's exciting and beautiful to see. I am very fortunate to be surrounded by so much love. My parents are a prime example of a loving relationship and we've also got good friends that are great loving role models as well.
My brother and Dasha got married yesterday and what a beautifully stunning wedding it was. It was perfect. I wouldn't have changed a thing! Oh and the wedding cake... it was perfect :) It was all great and wonderful and I am so glad that Dasha is joining our family. I am sure photos are going to start surfacing soon and I might post them (often times I say I will post things and I never do... this time I am covering my ass and saying 'might' just so that if I don't... it's ok :)).
I'm surrounded by love and couldn't be any luckier but...