...Cupid's shot was lost on us.

So I haven't been blogging or twittering (tweeting?) or really doing anything other then working, studying and working out. With Cesare and I's relationship going the way it was, I decided to pick up and other job (one with more steady hours/a predictable pay cheque) so that I could have more money in the piggy bank for when I went to St. Moritz, Switzerland. Our communications continued, nothing seemed to have changed. I worked 7 days a week, studying when I was on call or had time off. I'd hit the gym every other day and that would give me energy to tackle anything. Sure there never seemed to be enough hours in the day and I was a little bit stressed out but I was enjoying everything I was doing. I kept my eye on the prize and figured that no matter what happens, it's all worth it and I worked hard for it.
Because air fare prices were climbing, I decided to purchase my plane ticket! I did! :) I was so excited when I booked my flight arriving in Milan, October 23rd and returning April 5th. I couldn't contain my excitement so I called Cesare at the hostel (I avoided calling him because he's having fun in Hawaii, as long as he called me, I didn't feel the need to call him on the public hostel phone). When I told him, he was excited as well! We talked about what it would be like to live together even for a short while.
And that was our last conversation. Since then he hasn't returned any phone calls or e-mails (and he's still on facebook, updating his status so he's not dead or in the hospital... which is a good thing). Well that's strange! It's also good to know now instead of when I am at the Milan airport two days before my birthday and he doesn't show up. Yeah, that would suck. So, our last communication was on the 9th, we're the 16th now. I've sent him an e-mail asking him if he's had a change of heart, can't make it in September or if he just needs time to himself, to let me know. Still, nothing.
Personally I'm a big fan of communication whether it be good or bad, I think it's important to talk to one an other about things so for me this is a giant red flag... actually it's more like a red elephant with "this is a bad idea" written in French, English and Italian on him! But I'm a softie and I can't give up like that on something that seemed so good. So today I sent him an other e-mail telling him that I'd like to talk to him about this but if I don't hear from him I am going to cancel my ticket (I'm giving him until Saturday). We'll see if that sparks communication. If not... well no Europe for me this year.
Am I upset? Well, not as much as I was earlier this week. With my brother's wedding, I tried to get over it so that I wouldn't be mopey. I also have to be realistic and I can't claim that I really knew Cesare because really, we only spent 7 or so days together in paradise so... that can make anyone pretty freaking amazing. But I was (and maybe still am) willing to give this a go. Even if it doesn't work out and I end up in Switzerland, I am a big girl that doesn't like drama so I'd deal with it like an adult and we could remain friends. If that doesn't work, I am totally unopposed to coming home early. It could be an adventure... and I'm always up for an adventure.
But I am not going to hold my breath. I sent him some photos* via snail mail (all of which were similar to this one but different parts, and all with cloths on) with a simple note that said 'see you in September' and that didn't get a reaction... so if THAT doesn't get a reaction then I think there's my answer.
Ah well. It was fun while it lasted. Daydreaming about running away with a beautiful Italian man that's great in the sack was fun and it'll most likely continue, but I might just leave it as daydreaming. We'll see what the next few days bring.

*Photos taken by Christel Lanthier