After a full day at school (including a full clinic shift) I was quite stoked to get home and study for the A&P mid quarter tomorrow. Being super hungry I ate lots! I even treated myself to a bowl of ice cream :) It was delicious! Now I sit here. Stuffed. My mind as weighed down as my body. I am SO tempted to go to sleep right now! But no! I have am determined to study for this darn mid quarter! Ah how I enjoy being at school :)
I just realized today that we have a mid quarter in anatomy and physiology on Friday. Today is Wednesday and I haven't had the chance to study since the quiz we had last week. I am proud of myself for spending a couple of hours on tomorrow's assignment but I still haven't touched A&P. I think for the first time in my study career I am going to place my A&P notes under my pillow tonight in hopes that I can learn though diffusion.
Maybe sometime between clinical integration and clinic I can find some time to study. Fingers crossed that tomorrow's clinic isn't too busy.
At the beginning of the month I wrote about some changes that were going to take place in the massage therapy profession. On October 26th there was a meeting to discuss how we're going to adapt to these changes. We do not have a choice, Registered Massage Therapists (RMT's) will be able to go from regulated province to regulated province without writing other examinations or getting temporary licences. This will take effect in April 2009. So how do we, as a profession in the province adapt to these changes? Well it's the CMT*, our regulatory board, that gets to decide this. It is definitely not an easy position to be in and I do not envy them at this moment. I do, however, admire them because the decisions they will be making will impact many and they have and most likely will meet some resistance because of these decisions.
Though we do not know the outcome of the October 26th meeting, there was an e-mail that was sent out by the MTA** to several RMT's and student RMT's. This e-mail did not contain all the information for change and it sure ruffled a few feathers.
From what I've learned, it looks like the changes BC will have to make is to change the program from a 3 000 hour program to a 2 200 hour program. Ontario will make it mandatory for it's schools to be accredited in order to be registered. Both are huge changes but I think it's a happy medium.
Registering our profession nationally will be beneficial in many ways. Clients will have a larger selection of RMT's to chose from, all of which are very knowledgeable. As massage therapists, we will be able to move around with less hassle. Massage therapy is also seen as more of a luxury by having it more of it accessible, it'll be available for more therapeutic use. More massage therapists more competitive prices (hopefully... I am just guessing considering this is what happens with pretty much anything else in the economy).
On November 3rd the CMT will vote on how they should adapt to these changes. I am looking forward to hearing about what will happen to our profession. If we do go from a 3 000 hour program to a 2 200 hour program what does this mean for me?
By the end of level 500 I will most likely have 2 200 hours of education (I have not counted yet... but it feels about right, if not longer). Level 600 is mostly review. We learn a couple new things in professional development and arthrotides but those are the only two classes (to my knowledge) that we would be missing out on (even then we could most likely learn them in a really intense week or two). No level 600 means I would finish in mid January and could write my board exams in mid February. If I can write and be registered in February HOORAY! If not or if I fail, then nothing has changed. I take those 7 months to work and review so that I am ready for the boards in September***.
I am really excited to see the changes that are to come. I am not one who will be signing petitions, joining facebook groups, calling or sending e-mails to the CMT about the hour change (this seems to be one of the hottest topics). If anything you'll most likely find me sending them an e-mail of encouragement for the times to come. As far as I know, we're pretty lucky to be in the position that we're in and we have the power to either change it or fight it. Fighting it could lead to something really ugly and quite frankly, that is not what I am interested in.
*CMT - College of Massage Therapists
**MTA - Massage Therapy Association
*** Board examinations for RMT's are twice a year; in February and September. If you fail in February, you have to wait until September to wright again.
I was sitting on the bus this morning, on my way to school, when I notice two young men get on the bus. I immediately noticed that they both looked quite high. Or did they look tired? I look around at the rest of the sleepy souls on the bus and I decide that they were most likely high. By this time they'd shuffled back far enough to be standing right in front of where I was sitting. After some spacey swaying around, the short guy says to the tall guy in an attempted whisper "Dduuuuuudddee I am SO high! heh heh". Unable to contain it, I smile and think of how I sure as heck couldn't afford to kill a brain cell.
Shortly after we drove by an older gentleman with a long white beard and A SANTA HAT! For a moment, I thought I was high as well! But my eyes hadn't deceived me. There was an older man with a santa hat and a long beard. The guys also noticed this and were beside themselves. It was really funny to watch and it sure put a smile on my face before I got to school.
Why is it that every time I sit down to study my brother plays trance music really loud! Damn.
My mind wandered. I brought it back to the treatment, frustrated at myself that I was so spacey. I closed my eyes and focused. Imagined what I was feeling, the layers of skin, muscle and fascia. I focused my intentions on the fascia and envisioned it melting. Nothing. I hung out there. Waiting. Then slowly things start to move, fascia starts to "melt" and I feel the release. Still focused, I am surprised to see Minette pop up. I see her on the metal table at the veterinary's office. My eyes level with hers. Holding my hands against her, feeling her fur. Her sweet gaze is so familiar and I miss it. I feel tears coming and then I remind myself of where I am. I tell Minette that I love her and will relive this memory but later. Right now I am in treatment with a client and I cannot be distracted. With that I snap out of my head and am back as the therapist. I finish the treatment proud of myself and of my client. We did fantastic work together and I look forward to seeing her again. Now that clinic is done for the day, I allow myself to think of Minette a little and what the significance of the event while I was treating meant.
I'm not too sure why that little memory chose to come up at that time but it did and it reminded me that I haven't dealt with that part of Minette's death. I haven't really had time since then either but tonight I am taking the time. I am really glad I went to the vet with Minette on that last day. I just find it hard so I don't like to remember it. I've pushed aside the memory but I think it's something I've got to deal with and it's something I want to put in writing.
I may have already blogged about how Minette looked at me with accepting and understanding eyes while we were at the vet. But it's how she acted too. She was so calm. I remember sitting there, slouched so I could be at eye level with her and looking at her and loving her with my gaze. I held her, my touch telling her that it was ok, that she was loved and will be loved for long after she's gone. Her little body on my lap while the vet injected her. Her last breath. Her limp body. The love I could still feel eventhough she was gone. The feeling of her warmth on my lap for the last time.
It all seems like it wasn't that long ago and I can still remember it clearly. I don't know if it was the fact that I woke up alone, without someone to cuddle this morning or if it was because I had this lingering memory of Minette but when I woke up this morning I was on the verge of tears. I felt that way for the rest of the morning. Luckily (or unluckily) we had professional development in the morning. Level 500 PD is all about death and dying so the intro was heavy and those tears that were keeping me company were cried.
I didn't share with the class what I was going through but I spoke to Maja over break. It helped to talk about it. It helps to write about it now. But I still don't know how and if I am dealing with this. I don't know what it is about the events that happened at the vet that make me feel the way I do. I also don't really know why I am still holding on so dearly to the memories of Minette. I love her. I miss her. And I really don't know what else I can do to make me feel better.
So my birthday has already come and gone. Do I feel a year older? Not particularly. Would I want to celebrate other birthdays like the one that has just passed? Heck yeah :)
The Parade of Lost Souls was fun. It's always interesting to see other costumes and I particularly like large crowds so I was in my element. I would have loved to have stayed for the dancing afterwards but the October birthdays celebration was going on at our place. Justin and I managed to catch the 4th course and share in some birthday cake. It's kind of fun to get to celebrate 5 birthdays in one evening. Luckily most of the people are older so by midnight we were in bed. I was exhausted! The night before my cousin Michel, who was over visiting from Winnipeg, and I stayed up until 3am getting to know each other and solving the worlds problems. I feel very lucky that I was able to spend such quality time with him. Justin surprised me at midnight with a very pretty rose. A very sweet gesture to wish me a happy birthday.
It was awesome to wake up next to Justin on my actual birthday. We cuddled and stuff :) and then had brunch with the family. Not long after brunch we were back in bed for an nap... or sleep because I don't think naps are this long. Mom, Justin and I then walked to the grocery store to get things for dinner, we cooked, ate and played cards. Presents and cake to top off the evening and I was back in Justin's arms. A nice low key birthday with those I love... it's just what I wanted and it's what I got.
I was very lucky because Justin had Monday off. We started it sleeping in, went for brunch at the market, walked around Stanley park, went to the aquarium, to Denman st. for dinner and the cuddles on the couch while we watched some movies. He tucked me in before he left for Bellingham and cuddled with me until I was almost asleep.
I am finding it harder and harder to part with him at the end of our time together. I am looking forward to the end of school (6 and a half more months!!) when I won't be thinking of all the studying I should be doing. I will be able to enjoy my time with him without feeling terribly irresponsible. Ah soon :)
I was sitting at my computer doing my thing when I heard a mew. I thought I'd imagined it so I stopped what I was doing and I heard it again. I paused, looked out the window and saw nothing but the cat kept mewing.
Being I still miss Minette terribly and miss cuddle time I decided to go out and investigate. Maybe the kitty was nice and I could cuddle it. I went outside and saw it in the construction site next to our place. I called out to it. It didn't move. I walked closer and then it ran towards me making little purrmeow sounds. I sat in front of my house with this cat for 20 minutes. It would walk around me and rub itself against me and let itself get pet. I tried to pick it up but I wasn't that lucky.
I remembered that we had left over meat from dinner so I ran in to get it. The cat was fat but it didn't have a collar so I figured I should feed it in case it didn't have a home. When I came out, I saw a man on our street and no cat. I walked out to the sidewalk and saw the cat run towards me. I asked the man if it was his cat. He said yes.
Him and his cat go for walks every night at about 10:30pm. The cat leads, the man follows. But tonight the cat wanted to go for a walk a little earlier. They live near by and have for the past two years. I told him about Minette. He said I could come out and pet his cat when ever I wanted to.
I found it nice that I was able to spend some time with a cat. Sure it wasn't Minette but it was a cat. I kind of hope that it will come by and mew at my window some other night. It was a nice surprise. I kind of wonder what the man did for 20 minutes while I sat there petting and talking to his cat. It doesn't matter.
I miss Minette and I want an other cat. I don't know if I'd get a cat to replace Minette or if I would be emotionally capable of separating the two. I did quite well with this evening's cat. I didn't cry. Ok well I did but it was only after Mom greeted me at the front door when I came back in. She found it strange that all the doors of the house were left open and I wasn't home. When I told her what happened, she hugged me and I cried a little.
Anyways... do I want an other cat? Yes. Will I get one? No, not yet. I have plans to travel within the next year or so and will be gone for more then a month so I don't think it would be fair to leave the cat alone. Really, that's the only thing holding me back. I miss the company of a furry friend.
I added one more blanket added to my bed tonight. I now sleep with a sheet, two blankets and a duvet. It's getting pretty chilly in the basement and I sort of like it (when I am warm... not when I am freezing like I was last night). Normally I'd switch to flannel sheets but I think if I did Justin wouldn't sleep with me anymore. Maybe I should just sleep with less sheets and more Justin.
In other blanket related news... Linens and Things is going out of business and have everything on sale! This is bad news because L&T was fun! But it's also good news because as a massage therapist in training you always need new sheets and pillow cases... also as someone who gets cold really easily you can never have enough blankets and pillows :)
Yesterday was our 2nd clinic shift at OnSite and again I am blown away by the effect that this place has on me.
It's strange. The interaction with the people there is like no other group that I've worked with before. Sure it's a little similar to Aurora but the energy is very different. I had a feeling that it might be hard to put how I felt and what the OnSite experience is like into words and I was right. It's just different. It's also uplifting to work with the people there. It's really nice to see that they recognize that their body needs to detox and they voluntarily check themselves in for a detox. Some move on to a drug free life and others go back on the street. It's a very difficult situation for those who live on the street. For most of them that's all they know. Some were put on the streets at the age of 12 and at the age of 63 they find themselves detoxing and wanting to change. It's immense the strength that it takes! So for those who end up back on the streets I don't really feel sad. I feel like they are on the right path and it may take them a try or two (or three or four...) to make a change. Others may not. But I am glad that they have a place to go to if they feel like they need a break from the streets. A place where they can go to get in touch with their bodies and cleanse themselves if only temporarily.
Yesterday I had an experience that I never had before. Usually we go in there to do two treatments on the 2nd floor (the 1st floor is InSite and we don't work there) and then we have a quick break to move our chairs to the 3rd floor, do some charting then get ready for our other two guests. By the time our shift is over, we pack up our stuff and head back to school for more charting and a little debriefing. This time, as we were putting our things away, a couple of gentlemen (also clients of ours, unfortunately we don't have the time to see everyone who would like to get a treatment) were watching the Canucks game. The four of us took the time to chat with the guys about the game and about who was winning. Unfortunately it wasn't the Canucks but that didn't matter to me. It was nice to step out of my therapist role and get to talk to them about something other then their aches and pains.
OnSite has a lot of controversy and I can understand why. But I'd be curious to see what people would say if they actually went to Onsite and saw what it was like. Sure it's no holiday but the energy is relatively positive and you can see a glimmer of life in their eyes. In a society where we think that beauty is prefect straight teeth and clear beautiful skin, I'd challenge that because I'd rather see the occasional true missing teeth smile then a straight fake smile.
My Passport and Big Red and friends are ready to go for this weekend. I'm heading up to Bellingham again to be with Justin. I am looking forward to this weekend. All we have planned is cuddles, movies, carving pumpkins and maybe a hike or two. I am also planning on doing some homework... my some I mean lots.
This morning I woke up early with a smile. Life was good. Even the lack of hot water for a shower this morning did not dampen my spirits. I was uplifted by thoughts of my future. Possible partnerships and business plans. I could see that there was a place out there for a therapist like me. A place where I can thrive and show people what my hands and I can do.
I went to school happy, listening to my music. I walked to school part of the ways because I loved the feeling of the rain. People looked at me strangely because I had a smile on and was splashing around in puddles. I got to school early but stayed outside in the rain in the courtyard. I walked in puddles, watched the rain fall and make pretty patterns in the puddles and water fountain.
Class started and both Randy (the Dean) and Annette were there. Randy asked us if we had thought about yesterdays final. He did not seem happy. Initially no one answered but slowly we started saying how we felt that we had messed up. Him and Annette were both VERY disappointed about our performances. Not only were they disappointed but they were worried for us as therapists. Going in to boards with the hands on skills we have now he said we'd be sure to fail. My happy mood quickly exploded and I felt angry and lost and exposed and naked. For half an hour we got "the talk". By the end, I was in tears, my stomach had sunk to my toes. He gave us 15 minutes to regroup (because we were all quite shaken) and during this time I called Justin.
I was so upset that I had trouble speaking (when I cry I lose ability to speak, it kinda sucks cuz it makes it seem worse then it actually is). While in class I couldn't quite pin why this shook me so hard. Finally, with Justin on the line I was able to verbalize why I felt the way I did.
Since I've been back at school, I've dealt with a lot. Initially I thought my therapist hands had turned into oaf hands. After a couple days back, I felt that my hands weren't oaf hands but I had lost my confidence as a therapist. I was second guessing myself and didn't give myself enough credit for what I knew/remembered. So I've been dealing with this lack of confidence. I know it'll come back eventually I just have to learn to trust the therapist within me. This was why the OP was quite a big deal for me. Here I was, back at school with not too much confidence and I'm already being tested. It was tough but considering what I had been though I felt like the outcome of the final was better then I thought. Confidence slightly restored, I was happy.
So it wasn't so much that I may have to redo the final exam. That's ok. I make mistakes. That's why I am in school. It was more the fact that I thought I was on the right track and I was starting to feel confident again and it was smashed.
It was smashed pretty hard this morning. I temporarily doubted my abilities and worth as a therapist. Over lunch, I went for a walk in the rain to try to restore my spirits. While on my walk I realized that I didn't want to quit. I will show them what kind of therapist I can be. I will blow them away and be fucking awesome. The more they try to break me down, the harder I am going to fight. I can do this, I know I can.
During the afternoon class I found myself answering questions even though I wasn't sure of myself. I also asked more questions even if I thought they might be really basic and that I should know the answer. Being quiet and unsure of myself won't get me anywhere. I've got to speak up and not be afraid to be wrong. Now's the time. I am still in school.
Anyways now we'll see how long this determination lasts. I hope at least until the board exams, maybe longer. But I really really want to show them that I can be a great therapist and that I can be better then they think I am.
Last night I passed out early because it had been a long (yet very good) day. I woke up this morning to the sound of Serena Ryder quietly serenading me through my alarm clock. The song Little bit of Red was playing and I was quite impressed. I had never heard of Serena Ryder but so far I like her music.
Getting up to study at 2am was a great idea. I enjoyed the quietness and kept really focused during the entire time. I managed to go through 38 pages of notes and summarize them in 9 pages. I was so proud of myself! That kind of stuff usually takes forever. So apparently morning study is for me.
The written exam went really well and I feel quite confident with the answers I gave. I don't have my mark yet but I've got a good feeling. I had about an hour and a half of down time before it was my turn to do my OP (oral practical - basically this is the hands on portion of the exam but you also have to give answers out loud which often gives you time to fumble and say something really stupid.). During that time all the girls stayed together and we just tossed around information back and forth. The feeling in the room was one of nervousness but the energy was also positive and light. About twenty minutes before my OP, I stopped studying and all of us just talked and laughed and were having a good time.
Margaret was the first to have her OP (me second) and when she came in, she looked like she'd just seen a dead person. She said it was probably the hardest OP she had every done and was what she imagined the board OPs were like. This OP was a little different because we were performing the techniques on the Dean and an other very respected teacher, Annette, was examining us. That makes for two very intimidating people! And OPs are scary enough as it is!
All of a sudden all the information that was in my mind ran away in fear. I knocked on the door to come in and I was told to wait outside for a little while longer. I replied with a barely audible trembling squeak. Fuck! Damn nerves. I took a couple of deep breaths but that didn't help so I did the wood chopper (inhale bringing hands above your head and exhaling moving into a forward bend - kinda like an extreme wood chopper I guess). I did this until I started to feel light headed. That managed to calm me.
The door opened and I saw Fina* there. Somehow the knowledge came back and I felt quite confident about what I did. My trembling voice went away after a while and I was able to palpate and identify all of the land marks that I was given. Sure I maybe screwed up muscle testing upper trapezius and I also did two very basic mistakes. Considering you get 20 minutes to incriminate yourself I feel I did quite well.
After that it was off to work to do 5 hours of work and then to top off my ultra long day I went and saw Jane at SugarBox for my monthly grooming. I gotta say, getting my girly bits waxed after such a long day was the last thing I wanted to do but Jane is such an awesome person that it's great to get to work with her. I am also super proud of SugarBox! She came in 2nd in the Best of Vancouver choice award. So if you're humming and hawing about where to go to get your girly bits waxed. Go to SugarBox!
K, I gotta get ready for school. TMJ treatment class today (and for the rest of the week)! I am looking forward to this one! Justin has a very clicky jaw and I am afraid that if I kiss him too hard it'll fall apart. Maybe this will give me a better idea of what's happening to my sweetie.
*Fina is Annette's dog. She's at school quite often and is such a sweet heart. Last week I cuddled with her and buried my face in her fur and cried because I missed Minette and she reminded me of having a furry little pet. So I am especially fond of Fina because she is now my replacement for a pet.
And feeling like a ray of sunshine! Ok a tired and slightly hungry ray of sunshine but feeling pretty good none the less. My internal alarm clock woke me up at 2 instead of 3 (which is when I set me alarm for). It's quite chilly out so I lay in bed for 20 minutes or so before actually getting up. Being I got up early I decided it's ok to fart around on the Internet for a bit before getting things going. I might even start some laundry and have breakfast before 3. We'll see :)
And I just had Spinal treatment and A&P today. My brain is done! It's just about 5pm and I am already in my PJ's ready for bed. Tomorrow I have to make sure to drag myself out of bed when my alarm rings. 2am or 3am, I haven't decided yet. Maybe 2:30.
This week we welcomed the new level 100. There are so many of them that there are two classes! Sure that's only 31 students but compared to our 8 student classes that's a lot of fresh blood. They're so cute :) all bright eyed with big smiles. Eager. It's quite nice to see.
My new class is thoroughly awesome! The girls are so fantastic I feel very privileged! Today while in A&P class, I got a little chilly so I put my wrist warmers (thanks Gillian) and hat on and one of the girls put a blanket around me! I thought it was so sweet. Everyone seems to take care of each other. The environment is very supportive. They are also super duper smart so it makes me want to be smarter and study harder.
Speaking of study harder I should get to bed... maybe read my notes over before sleep.
At the beginning of relationships I build a wall so that I don't get hurt. The relationship goes on, the wall gets harder to hold up. Until it collapses and I am myself. This switch has been the end of some relationships but it has also strengthened others.
We will see where Justin and I go from here. But right now I feel vulnerable and scared. It sucks. I didn't realize that I did this until last night. Looking back on past relationships, I can see that I've done the same. I could write a lot yet at the same time I don't want to because it exposes a side of me that I don't particularly like. One that is more vulnerable and it's not something I like to be.
Canucks play their first season game tonight! WOO! So what do I do?
Eat. Study. Watch 1st period. Study. Watch 2nd period. Study. Watch 3rd period. Study. Sleep
Hockey season is back! Yay! Justin comes over tomorrow. Double Yay!
Like everything in life, things change and the massage therapy profession is facing some really exciting times. Sure there will most likely be some bumps along the way but in the long run I think this will be for the better.
As it stands, students who study massage therapy in British Columbia get 3 000 hours of education (or more depending on the place of learning...), students in Ontario, Newfoundland and Labrador - which are the only other regulated provinces - have around 2 200 hours of education. When a student who has studied in an other regulated province comes to BC and wants to work, they are granted a temporary license and have 18 months to do some upgrading and then they have to take an board exam on their newly acquired knowledge.
With the growth and aging of the population the demand for massage therapists is increasing. So much so that we are not capable to keep up. Especially here in BC where there are 2099 Registered Massage Therapists (one of which is Darla who passed her board exams and is now an RMT! Congratulations Darla :)). There are 8250 in Ontario alone. So what the government wants to do is that they want to make things even across the country. They want people who have studied in Ontario* to be able to come and work in BC without any trouble.
This is great because that would allow the public to have a larger choice of RMT's to chose from and it would allow the RMT's to move without having to worry about upgrading.
This may also change things for the unregulated provinces such as Alberta. There, massage therapists have an education of 1 000 hours.
So what do we do about the difference in education? What would prevent someone from going to Ontario to do their education then come back to BC to practice? Now this is where things are going to change. I don't know what they changes are going to be but I will be very interested in watching the progression.
On October 26th the powers that be (schools, college of massage therapy - which is the regulatory board for massage therapy here in BC... etc.) will get together to try to find suggestions for change. As the general public, students or even massage therapists, we are not allowed to be present at this meeting. We will just have to wait and see what they come up with.
Am I at all upset or frustrated that this shift is happening while in school? I mean I could have paid less for my education and may have gone to school for less then 3 000 plus hours. Nope. I am happy the way I have it. I really like the way the program that I am in is structured (despite the headaches, sleepless nights, hours of stress... it's all part of being a student) and feel that I am really fortunate to be going to school in such an exciting time.
By April 2009, massage therapists from Ontario, Newfoundland and Labrador will be able to come and practice here in BC so the changes in the profession will have to happen quickly. It'll be interesting to see what's on the horizon.
*and Newfoundland and Labrador as well.
Damn! That just happened to be a muscle with a long name... they're really not all that complicated. This muscle just lifts the upper lip and flares the nostrils, nothing complicated.
Anyways I am back to watching the sunrise from my desk in the morning. So far I've managed to stay in the good habit of studying 3 muscles before leaving for school. I then review them before bed. Last night I rocked my 3 muscles! Remembered everything about them! Even innervation and arterial supply! Woo go me :)
Getting back into routine was easy this morning. When the alarm went off at 5:45, my body knew what to do. I went through the motions and did it well. Sure I am a little less sharp but I still managed to get ready, make lunch and go over 3 muscles in my Musculoskeletal Anatomy Colouring book. When I was leaving the house, my heart ached because I am used to finding Minette, laying on the floor with her for a quick moment while I give her a quick pet and tell her that I love her. Instead when I left the room that her ashes were in, I said "Bye Minette, I love you." which is something I would also do every time I left the house. For some strange reason this never hit me before as hard as it did today.
School itself was like I never left. Our first class was mixed in with the level 600, Dea, the class I was previously in. So Pam, Maja and myself were together. It was great to be with the girls again, when we greeted each other with was with huge hugs that almost knocked each other off our feet. I sure am glad to be in class with Maja. Pam will be with us for an other 11 weeks then it's her turn to graduate!
My new class is awesome... though I already knew that I'd be going into an awesome class. They are very welcoming and their energy is very positive. I am finding that I am having to make a switch from a somewhat negative energy towards this whole process of going back to a positive one. I don't want to be a downer and I know that it is my choice as to whether this is a positive experience or a negative one.
During muscle energy technique class today I was pleasantly surprised to have Annette as an instructor. Yay! That made my first class much easier. She can hold my attention at the worst of times so it was good. She kept me on the ball. Half way through class I felt my brain become all charged... I could feel it working really hard, something I hadn't felt since I left back in May. When it came time to the practical work, I found that my rookie healing hands had transformed back into "big oaf hands" and my sense of touch and palpation skills had reduced significantly. This is unsurprising. In a couple of days we start fascial classes. This is a series of 6 classes geared towards a very subtle modality. I predict a bit of frustration on my part because I was pretty good at fascial before I left now my oaf hands and I will be nothing short of a disaster. Hopefully it will come back quickly.
Orientation for OnSite was great. It was nice to get an orientation, last term I was thrown in as a filler which was fantastic but I didn't really know how it all worked. Now I do and it's great to have a better understanding as to why individuals are there and where they can go from the detox program. George Pearson still has me nervous. More so now then ever. I am hoping that as I regain my confidence as a therapist I will feel more comfortable with this outreach. However I am nothing short of petrified. The place gives me the anxiety that I thought I had got rid of. I have 6 weeks of OnSite work before I go there to hopefully I can figure things out before then.
For now, I am going to continue my review of the male reproductive system. Where's Justin when I need him? *grin*
Did you know?
The testes develop near the kidneys and they usually being their descent into the scrotum during the latter half of the seventh month of fetal development?
Bet ya didn't. I found this out an hour ago. I also studied for an other hour before taking a quick blog break before hitting the books again in a couple of minutes. School is 16 hours away and I guess I am kind of nervous. I must be. Last night I dreamt that I was being followed by this half dead person that happened to resemble a certain staff member. This was no short dream too... it lasted all night! As soon as I closed my eyes again, there he was. I am sure going back won't be as bad as I think it is but for now it's got me nervous. Anyways I am quite ready and as the hours progress I will only become more so. Today I studied my three muscles, got my binders ready, found out what the mysterious MET (muscle energy technique) class was (first class tomorrow, I want to show up prepared) and so far have spent 3 hours studying the reproductive chapter. I get to take a nice long break in an hour when I head off for an hour and a half of yoga.... yay!
The weekend was awesome. Justin and I spent it together, going for a walk around Lynn Valley on Friday after work, doing some yoga on Saturday and celebrating Mom's birthday on Sunday. We also managed to fit in a lot of cuddle time which was great. The following 15 weekends will be interesting as I will have clinic on Saturday nights which means I am not out of school until 6 then I have Sunday and Monday off... Justin has Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Rats! We will figure something out!
I was quite stoked to find out that I actually get a Christmas break! WOO! Sure it's also our reading break but at least we get some time off. They also lengthened the term by a week. Ew. Unfortunately Student Loans hasn't come through for me this time so I am going to have to manage school, clinic, work and a long distance relationship. The next 8 months might be a bit of a challenge. I am up for it though! I've signed up for yoga to help me though all of this too. Gotta stay calm and focused. Speaking of calm and focused, I should hit the books again.
**Mt. Baker photos are up**
My sweetie surprised me today after work!!! It was so wonderful. I was going to send him a text message to see who was going to visit who this weekend when he showed up! His reasoning... it's our last weekend together, we may as well make it a long one. Great thinking sweetheart!
Well I still hadn't started studying yet so we did a bit of studying together. He helped me review my 3 muscles. The arterial supply of the frontalis portion of occipitofrontalis is the supraorital and supratrochlear branches of the opthalamic artery... this transformed into the tronchlear branch which became our new expression "Totally tronchular man!" Studying with Justin is great :)
It has been one week since Minette has been gone. The week has gone by quickly. Tonight was the first night where I was able to read a comment from someone about Minette's death without crying. My eyes stung but they didn't spring a leak. I did not stop them either. Less crying is good. I'm dehydrated as it is.
I am working shorter shifts and getting more done. No studying yet. Tomorrow. I promise. Have I mentioned that I am the queen of procrastination?
I feel terribly exhausted. I don't know if it's because my health has been bothering me (this is an other story in itself... it almost deserves it's own blog... don't want to write about it because it would just be one giant bitch fest) or if it's because I am still feeling down about Minette.
Early to bed again tonight. Maybe I'll go now so that I can read an extra bit more (trying to finish some non school related stuff before school starts... this will prevent procrastination while in school.). I also have to read Darkness Visible by William Styron before professional development 500 begins. PD 500 will be all about death and how to cope as a therapist when one of our clients pass away. I am looking forward to PD 500 but it might bring up some things that are quite raw. I'll bring tissues.
