Hiccups

Sometime love has it's hiccups and right now our relationship has it's very own. The getting to know one an other has been bumped up a notch and so has the trust. With this, we're opening up to each other and discovering more about one an other. Something that is very exciting but that also raises some eyebrows.
With my relationship with Paul, I found myself changing myself to fit what he wanted. I didn't realize that I was doing this until it was all over. Then I felt frustrated that I had changed myself for someone. I was unhappy but I didn't know that I was. After that relationship, I promised myself that I would never change myself again. Ever! When I would encounter a relationship that would require me to change or even adapt. I'd push away. I didn't want to go down that road again!
Then this relationship came along. I fell. Bang! Head over heels for a guy 53 miles away. Both of us were stunned at how well things were working out. He makes me happy and I am so fortunate to be with him. However, now that I am learning more about him, I find out that before I entered the picture, he was about to buy a home and settle down. Not too many thoughts of travelling the world crossed his mind. A nice home, a job that he enjoys and a lovely lady by his side... could have been perfect. But the home thing fell through which got him questioning things. Is a home really what he wants? It's a big investment and commitment. Not only that, this new girl in his life wants to travel. Settle down, yes. But not yet.
So what do we do? Where do we go? I really really like Justin. When we are apart and I know he's coming I eagerly await his arrival. When I go see him the train/bus ride seems to take forever! I become a little silly because Hey! love makes you feel silly. With him I feel that change would be good... though I will not make myself something that I am not. Maybe instead of change, I'll compromise.
I would like to be there and hold his hand as we travel the world then settle down afterwards however I don't want to mother him. Anyways the next few days will be very interesting for the both of us as we realize where we stand and where we want to go. Justin gets to decide whether he will continue house hunting or whether he will put that on hold for a while. Meanwhile I'll be there for him and I will support any decision he's going to make. I however, want to make sure I stay happy. I don't let myself become silly in love and forget about what I initially wanted.