I'm like the Canucks...

I'll have to try again next year to win the Stanley Cup*. That's a twisted way of saying. I failed my board exam.

All of my friends got their letters yesterday and they all passed!!! A great huge congrats to Pam and Maja who passed their board exams. Being I didn't get a letter yesterday, I knew the letter would arrive today. I was at work from 9:30 until 2:30 today so I sent a text message to my brother asking him to call me when he got home from class. I love my little bro to bits and I thought that it would be something special to share my success (I was pretty sure I'd passed... everyone else had) or my failure with him. By the time he was back home, it was past 2:30 and I was on the seawall with a warm cup of chai tea in my hand. The day was stunning! I decided to enjoy it and walk from work to the market via the seawall and enjoy this beautiful day. The sky was clear blue with a few whispy clouds, the air was crisp, the mountains were clear and from where I was walking I had a clear view of Stanley Park and downtown Vancouver both basking in the sunshine of this beautiful fall day. If I was home to read the letter and I passed, I'd just want to go outside. If I failed... being outside would be good for me because inside I'd probably hole up and mope.
So I was just past Kits beach when I called my brother back. We talked a bit while he opened the letter and then he read it out to me. I forget the actual wording but basically I am not eligible to register at this time because I was unsuccessful at the oral practical portion of the board exam. Oh well that's not quite what I was expecting! Steph and I talked a bit. I am sure I blabbered on but I didn't cry. I wasn't really upset. I was glad I did what I did and I was glad I could share this moment with my brother (even if it was over the phone). While we were talking, I thought to myself: 'has anything changed from when you first got on the phone?' The answer to that was no. The day was just as bright and beautiful. The mountains as clear and the leaves were still changing in the park. The smell of my chai tea still gave me a feeling of warmth despite the cold and I was happy to have such an awesome brother who would actually read out such a letter.
Yes. I did fail. However I was still where I was before and I was still happy. I wrapped up my conversation with my brother so I could text message the girls, call Mom, then Dad before my phone died (it had been beeping that it was low on battery all shift... so it didn't have much oomph left). I managed to get all the messages out. I got a surprised text from Darla and I told her I wasn't joking. A phone call from Pam and then my phone died. I called Mom from a payphone. I was glad my cellphone was dead. I didn't want to talk to anyone. The rest of my walk was in peace and it was beautiful. I had thoughts running though my head but none of dread or anything like that. I was more upset that I had to do the darn exam again.
By the time I arrived at the market, the music from the buskers coaxed board exam thoughts out of my head and all I could think of was how much I love being at the market. Corn stalks, pumpkins and fall decorations are already for sale and the lovely man playing guitar was smiling at me. I walk into the market and I see the beautiful flower arrangements. I promise to myself that I am going to buy myself flowers after I pick up the ingredients for tonight's dinner (Bohemian Rye Bread and Wild rice and cranberry soup... both made from scratch, by hand by me :) the perfect fall dinner).
Thoughts of board exams and my failing it weaved in an out of my head but really, I was all too happy to be at Granville market. Here I was, alone on such a beautiful day. I was surrounded by fresh ingredients, so many food possibilities! It's really quite exciting. I left the market with my loot and made my way home. I think the greatest disappointment of the day was no me failing my board exams but being half way home and realizing that I forgot to buy myself flowers!
Once home, I deliberately didn't check my phone. Marguerite called and said she was at my place :) We talked about my board exam a little but mostly we caught up. We cooked but she had to leave before the bread was ready (I just took it out of the oven at 11:30pm... apparently Bohemians had a lot of time on their hands because this takes a long time) and before the soup was done.
It was only after she left that I checked my voice mail and I had three messages. The first from Heidi made me cry. The second, from Annette, and the third from Margaret kept me crying. The huge outpouring of love was what really touched me. I am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life. So yes, I did fail my board exam but I get to try my luck again January 13th 2010. Hopefully I'll be more successful at passing my board examination then the Canucks are at winning the Stanley Cup.

*This comparison to the Canucks and the Stanley Cup stems from my phone call with Uncle Steve (in regards to me not passing). I liked the comparison even though it's not entirely accurate :)