One my way for the day I find no sorrow.

Yesterday was a particularly difficult day. Systemic treatment class in the morning and just before class started Annette told me that the Dean wanted to see me at break. I knew why but still anxiousness rose in my chest. I was sick on Saturday, didn't call in to say i wasn't going to be in but instead texted Joy to ask her to let the prof and clinic supervisor know. She did and replied saying that they were pissed and wanted me to call. I figured fuck it! I am not going to call in, they know why I am not there and I don't want to call just to get reamed out. So I didn't call. I knew I'd end up in the Deans office for that.
Anyways while the talk wasn't as bad as I thought it may have been, REALLY sensitive issues came up. Ones that I have been guarding and dealing with slowly. In the past year I've noticed an improvement in dealing with this particular issue. It's one that I am taking baby steps away from, yet there is quite a strong connection that it's not something I can run away from. Really it wasn't until the past two months that I noticed a big change. I was slowly finding freedom within myself and this new found freedom was elating.
I may have gotten carried away when I decided to take a term off to enjoy this change in my life. Probably not the wisest decision. But at the same time it has been such a long time since I've felt constant contentedness and happiness. The Dean questioned this decision of taking time off. Was very realistic and kind of harsh. But I appreciate it. It made me question my decision of taking the next term off. I still am though I am really leaning towards still taking the term off. No matter what I decided, it's going to be a positive outcome. I'm in a win win situation really.
I've given myself until Friday of next week to figure it out. I have to go to school on Friday anyways cuz we have class. Then I will talk to the administrator and to the Dean and let them know my final decision. Anyways all of this weighed really heavy on my heart and mind yesterday. I was pretty much vegetative. I nourished my soul with a bowl of ice cream (and then got sick cuz I am lactarded :P ) and nourished my body with some freshly made juice. It's funny, since my detox I've been craving fresh juice. It's awesome! I've also had much more energy. Maybe getting quite sick was what my body needed to release what it had to. Who knows.
Well final #2 is coming up in 4 and a half hours. Feeling pretty ready. It's systemic treatment written so all should go well. After I get to study for tomorrow's systemic pathology quiz and then go salsa dancing tonight :) WOO!

Blog title: Lyrics taken from Million Miles by Fuel