Still healing, having trouble dealing

Well today was the day where I had enough balls to bring back Paul's house keys... I mean how much does it take to take the keys off your keyring, put them in an envelope and lable it with
Paul S.
PM Maintenance
then drop it off at the reception at his work? I dunno it's totally drained me. I feel like crying but I know that it had to be done. I don't really know what to feel. I feel sad because it's over... but at the same time, I think I did everything that I could and if it wasn't meant to be then I'll accept it. Bleh relationships suck!
Well thanks to maui and the people's support there I was able to do this. I don't think they realized how much they helped me. I think the most important thing was that they didn't try to fix anything, they just listened and gave general life advice, I reflected on what they had said.
I feel bad... I feel like I havn't given him enough chances... but then I think back at what I went through and what I did give him and I think it was fair. Sure if he was to call me tomorrow and said he wanted to work on it, I would think about it... Things would have to change though, I am not too sure I want to go back into the same relationship we were in... Maybe we weren't meant to be. I don't know.
Anyways I'll just continue on my evening feeling numb and on the verge of tears and maybe tomorrow will be easyer... actually it probably will be. Sleep always helps when you're feeling down.
At least the sun's still out...