Where am I going?

Over the course of the past year I've been changing a lot as an individual. I've learnt that there is more then one way to live life and my little sheltered existence was... well it was good for a while but it's time for me to break out of my shell and put myself into uncomfortable situations. It's with these uncomfortable situations that I find myself. That I see that I can stand my own.
I've also realized that my moods, my emotions and the path I chose is really my choice. Every morning I'm faced with a choice. To be happy and have a good day or be miserable. Yeah sometimes being miserable is the easy choice and that was a choice I made yesterday. Then it got me thinking. Why waste time being miserable? Did I achieve anything by it? No, actually I achieved less. So what's the point?
Same goes with health. It's my emotions and moods that form who I am inside (chemical balances and what not) and constantly bombarding myself with insecure, unhappy, sad thoughts poisons my being and makes me ill. I could go on about this one but I won't... not now.
So yesterday had me thinking... where am I going? I've thought about this quite a bit and was even encouraged to write down my dreams, goals and well essentially where I want to be in life. Until last night (when I was laying in bed, not being able to fall asleep because I had all of this on my mind) I didn't have the courage to do so. I was afraid that if I wrote down a goal or a dream and I didn't achieve it then I'd be a failure. And being it's in writing it would be a constant reminder of my failure.



But I've realized that goals change as we change. For now this might be where I want to be in a few years from now but I might discover something else that will become my passion. So really it's not a failure.
So where do I see myself going? I am going to graduate and become an RMT (registered massage therapist). I will travel to Africa and volunteer there for a few months. Whether it's working with people or with animals I am not too sure. I am going to be a doula and further my studies in women's health and pregnancy. I will open up my own multiple disciplinary clinic specializing in pregnancy and women's health. All the while working as a massage therapist, being happy and content. Eventually I'll have a family because really, my number one goal in life is to be a Mom.
How all of this will happen... I am not too sure. Every day I am sure I will have to make choices that bring me closer to these goals. And right now a choice that I am going to make is to continue studying for my finals this coming week. Tonight I'm going to treat myself to a few hours at the gym that way I can exercise my body and not just my brain. And then I'll be ready for my sport treatment written and oral practical tomorrow along with our final neuropathology class before our exam.



Pictures are from my trip to Australia:
Top: Magnetic Island, Mountains on Maggie (magnetic island) though old ruin I found hiking, sunset on Horseshoe Bay on Maggie
Middle: Lounging around while sailing the Whitsundays on a tall ship, An island in the Whitsundays
Bottom: Maggie and mainland Australia, Butterflies on Maggie, Sunset on mainland Australia from Fraser Island, Sunrise over our canoes in the everglades