And the dust settles

The past 8 months feel like I've been stuck in a washing machine. Between the stressors that have been going on in my life lately it hardly feels like I've been able to take a breath of air. Going part time seemed to help a little but I was quite frustrated because I was still a stress ball even though I had less on my plate.
A major (to me anyways) event that happened and had me think twice about where I was and an attitude change that I had to make was an argument that I'd had with Eric one night two or so weeks ago. I was tired and moody and for some reason I still wanted him to come over (knowing deep down inside that I'd be rotten company but not admitting it to myself at the time). So he came over and I kept to myself and he watched TV. Being tired and grouchy I decided to go to bed, I kissed him good night and off I went. He followed soon after but he was packed and ready to go. He figured if I was going to act like I was, he might as well go home. Me just wanting his company, asked him to stay. He did and tried to make light of the situation but I was still a grouch and... anyways this went on for a while and finally he stayed over. I could tell though that he wasn't happy and he was probably hurt because I was being such an idiot. The following morning I could tell he was still upset, and I don't blame him. I was feeling horrible. Finally when we went to Bowen Island, we were able to talk about it and things settled. I still do feel horrible and never ever want to see Eric hurt or sad again. So I think this was what it took to really make me realize that I had to stop being the way I was if I wanted to keep Eric around. Not only that but I didn't and still don't really like the person I'd become.
At school we've learnt a lot about attitude and how by just changing your perspective on things, the way you feel and act towards certain situations, it can eventually change you on the inside. I can go on about the little cells and their receptors to certain hormones and what not, but I won't. If you're interested in that kinda stuff, What the Bleep do we Know is an interesting film that introduces those concepts. The Secret is an other good one, just ignore all the materialistic bullshit that they throw in there. So I've been changing my outlook on many things, school is one of them. Instead of having an attitude that I hate this shit and it's useless, I've adopted an attitude of "this is difficult for now, but I'll get through it and I will become a RMT. I may not do it full time but I can do it part time. It can also open many doors for me and present me with interesting opportunities in life." Cheesy I know but you have to be firm, not waver because I've come to find that life is like a dog. It'll smell uncertainty and fear and will pick at it until you crumble.
Along with the whole attitude change, work has helped a lot. I believe that it wasn't until I started working that I started to feel balanced again. A few weeks ago I got a job working for Urban Fare. The new store, located in Coal Harbour, doesn't open for an other two weeks yet, so I've been working store set up. For the past two weeks I've been doing many odd jobs, like building shelving units, stocking products and putting price tag holders on the shelves that we built. Odd jobs that no one find particularly fun but heck it's doing something different with different people that I think has calmed me down. It's fun though because I feel human again. I no longer feel like a humming bird that's taken 5 cups of coffee (though that may not have shown on the outside, that sure as hell was how I felt on the inside).
So now that I'm feeling more balanced, I'm able to actually look forward to doing homework and achieving good marks in school (instead of just being content with the bare minimum). I also feel like I'm more of a pleasant person to be around. Anyways we'll see how this progresses but I feel quite happy as to where I am in life right now.