I'm like the Canucks...

I'll have to try again next year to win the Stanley Cup*. That's a twisted way of saying. I failed my board exam.

All of my friends got their letters yesterday and they all passed!!! A great huge congrats to Pam and Maja who passed their board exams. Being I didn't get a letter yesterday, I knew the letter would arrive today. I was at work from 9:30 until 2:30 today so I sent a text message to my brother asking him to call me when he got home from class. I love my little bro to bits and I thought that it would be something special to share my success (I was pretty sure I'd passed... everyone else had) or my failure with him. By the time he was back home, it was past 2:30 and I was on the seawall with a warm cup of chai tea in my hand. The day was stunning! I decided to enjoy it and walk from work to the market via the seawall and enjoy this beautiful day. The sky was clear blue with a few whispy clouds, the air was crisp, the mountains were clear and from where I was walking I had a clear view of Stanley Park and downtown Vancouver both basking in the sunshine of this beautiful fall day. If I was home to read the letter and I passed, I'd just want to go outside. If I failed... being outside would be good for me because inside I'd probably hole up and mope.
So I was just past Kits beach when I called my brother back. We talked a bit while he opened the letter and then he read it out to me. I forget the actual wording but basically I am not eligible to register at this time because I was unsuccessful at the oral practical portion of the board exam. Oh well that's not quite what I was expecting! Steph and I talked a bit. I am sure I blabbered on but I didn't cry. I wasn't really upset. I was glad I did what I did and I was glad I could share this moment with my brother (even if it was over the phone). While we were talking, I thought to myself: 'has anything changed from when you first got on the phone?' The answer to that was no. The day was just as bright and beautiful. The mountains as clear and the leaves were still changing in the park. The smell of my chai tea still gave me a feeling of warmth despite the cold and I was happy to have such an awesome brother who would actually read out such a letter.
Yes. I did fail. However I was still where I was before and I was still happy. I wrapped up my conversation with my brother so I could text message the girls, call Mom, then Dad before my phone died (it had been beeping that it was low on battery all shift... so it didn't have much oomph left). I managed to get all the messages out. I got a surprised text from Darla and I told her I wasn't joking. A phone call from Pam and then my phone died. I called Mom from a payphone. I was glad my cellphone was dead. I didn't want to talk to anyone. The rest of my walk was in peace and it was beautiful. I had thoughts running though my head but none of dread or anything like that. I was more upset that I had to do the darn exam again.
By the time I arrived at the market, the music from the buskers coaxed board exam thoughts out of my head and all I could think of was how much I love being at the market. Corn stalks, pumpkins and fall decorations are already for sale and the lovely man playing guitar was smiling at me. I walk into the market and I see the beautiful flower arrangements. I promise to myself that I am going to buy myself flowers after I pick up the ingredients for tonight's dinner (Bohemian Rye Bread and Wild rice and cranberry soup... both made from scratch, by hand by me :) the perfect fall dinner).
Thoughts of board exams and my failing it weaved in an out of my head but really, I was all too happy to be at Granville market. Here I was, alone on such a beautiful day. I was surrounded by fresh ingredients, so many food possibilities! It's really quite exciting. I left the market with my loot and made my way home. I think the greatest disappointment of the day was no me failing my board exams but being half way home and realizing that I forgot to buy myself flowers!
Once home, I deliberately didn't check my phone. Marguerite called and said she was at my place :) We talked about my board exam a little but mostly we caught up. We cooked but she had to leave before the bread was ready (I just took it out of the oven at 11:30pm... apparently Bohemians had a lot of time on their hands because this takes a long time) and before the soup was done.
It was only after she left that I checked my voice mail and I had three messages. The first from Heidi made me cry. The second, from Annette, and the third from Margaret kept me crying. The huge outpouring of love was what really touched me. I am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life. So yes, I did fail my board exam but I get to try my luck again January 13th 2010. Hopefully I'll be more successful at passing my board examination then the Canucks are at winning the Stanley Cup.

*This comparison to the Canucks and the Stanley Cup stems from my phone call with Uncle Steve (in regards to me not passing). I liked the comparison even though it's not entirely accurate :)

Frusterated

It's just one of those days. I feel like Eeyore with an upset tummy and cramps. Normally I'm a patient person but today, while at work, there was this little yappy dog barking away and I daydreamed about throwing it into 4th ave rush hour traffic. I didn't. Nor would I ever. But still, the thought crossed my mind. I also only have pleasant customers and if they're not pleasant, at least they're not unpleasant but today all the grouchy people came in to the store. Maybe it's the weather because some of my friends have mentioned that they've felt the same way as well.
I kind of feel like I am heading in the wrong direction. I am working really hard at two jobs. One which I love and the other which is stressing me out and isn't paying much (which makes me wonder why I am letting it affect me... or even why I am still there). Every paycheque goes to paying down debt and contributing towards an upcoming trip. Now with the news of me moving out (most likely by mid month to beginning of next) that's added expenses. Birthdays are coming up soon (not complaining, just saying... plus I love treating those that I love and the Birthdays coming up happen to be that of my Mom's, Uncle Steve, Dad's, Brother and Auntie Marcy... yep... I love all of them :) to bits!) and next thing I know it'll be Christmas. If I pass my board examinations I'll have registration fees and insurance to buy... not to mention student loans have to start to be paid back soon. Anyways life is never short of expenses and I know that but it just seems like this trip might be a little silly. Maybe I should focus on settling a little here in Vancouver before I run off again. Maybe travel should wait. I can't possibly do everything!
The girls mentioned that we should all go to Whistler for Maja and I's birthday (we're born a year and a day apart) and though I think it's a great idea, I politely said no thanks because that's money I could be putting towards Asia. Though Asia will be awesome, I think I need to get my priorities straight. I realized this more so this weekend when we all went out and partied together. I think I should ground myself at the job I love and with the one that's not so hot... I should find something that will be a better fit.
I've also sacrificed my health so I could use that money for my trip. Which is stupid because now I am in pain and miserable because my body is all askew. With a body all askew, I'm a pretty useless therapist and I'd definitely be a miserable traveler.
So perhaps I should just stay here and ground myself. But then again part of me (and quite a big part at that) just wants to travel. Asia (or the rest of the world for that matter) isn't going anywhere. But then again, the opportunity of traveling with my cousin might not be there again. Maybe I should just go back to Hawaii.

Life's little questions

Why is it that when you're drunk, it's completely ok to make out with random guys and use 'i was drunk' as an excuse. But then when you're drunk, meet a guy, gradually sober up and then want to make out with him, it's not ok because then you're sober and 'i was drunk an hour ago' doesn't work as an excuse. And because now, you're sober and you no longer have the stones to just plant him one.

Just one of life's little questions.

*I haven't gotten my exam results back yet. Apparently they're going to be mailed this coming Wednesday or Thursday... so it's going to be a while still.

How is it fair

that my salsa dancing instructor (left) looks like this? Salsa classes start a week from today.

Waiting for the postman

Tomorrow's the day. Well I could get the letter in the mail tomorrow but knowing Canada Post I am sure I won't get it for a while. Apparently there's a week window (starting tomorrow, ending in a week from tomorrow) when we will get our results from our board exams. I'm a little nervous but I don't really know why.
For this exam I really hope I passed because I don't want to do the OP again. Though all the landmarks, muscles, scenarios, interview questions etc were fair, I don't feel it will ever be an accurate representation of how I am in practice. I'm working as a bodyworker now and I can tell you that if someone comes to see me with anterior compartment syndrome, I won't start sweating bullets and blabbering on like an idiot. Heck! I've already treated it in practice (or pre-practice, we're not allowed to do 'therapeutic work' so I 'relaxation massaged' their anterior compartment). It's just the pressure of having two stone faced examiners and one examiner that's testing your hands. That's a lot of pressure... and that's not something that we're really going to get in real life (the pressure I mean).
Yep, I know. The examiners are just doing they job and that's a ok by me. They actually do a fine job at it :) I was just nervous and I hope they take into account that I usually don't shake like leaf, sweat like I'm having a hot flash, that my voice doesn't quiver when I talk and that I am usually confident with my answers and explanations.
Well. Fingers crossed. Because waiting by the mailbox will only make me neurotic (and because it's my only day off for the next two weeks), tomorrow Pam, Marguerite and I are going to hike the Grouse Grind then go to Wreck beach :). If I do have to redo my OP, then... c'est la vie :) And la vie is pretty darn awesome!

Michelangelo... a VERY smart man!

Yes, this has me baffled too! So neat that the man was sneaky as well as talented!

Life after board exams

So I'm working two jobs. I am at Solarice 4 days a week and told the other place I work at that I want to work 3 days a week. For some reason the other place is only booking me 2 days a week but instead of complaining, I am taking that day. Because I work alone at this other place, it can get pretty darn boring. I've been reading a lot and I've been enjoying it quite a bit. Today was especially slow (I worked 3 hours and had two customers!)... so I finished half of my book. I was even inspired to write something
'Sitting at work, I hear the sound of gently falling rain. A sound that Vancouverites recognize as fall's return. My shop is empty. Passed bys rush past the open door, glancing at the storefront with a flash of contemplation crossing their face. They continue onward, keeping covered by their water proof shields. As the street light changes, it sends a new wave of noisy motorists, shattering the steady humm of the neighborhood. The sound of wheels on wet pavement bring a new feelings of comfort. Leaves, weighed down by the rain, can no longer hold onto their branches and fall to the ground. The wind blows them into the store. My next customer; Mother Nature.'
I used to do quite a bit of creative writing before I started massage school, however that stopped. It was nice to find a scrap of paper and scribble out my thoughts. I'm out of practice but I am sure I'll get back into the swing of it again.
After work, I went to the gym (yes, I am finally back! It's been tough returning) and managed to do an hour and fifteen on the treadmill, I tried out the stairmaster (new to the gym) and didn't really get it... but I gave it a fair go... 15 minutes, then my whole ab routine and some rowing (an other new machine). Rowing killed me. I loved it! Will have to get coached on proper rowing techniques though because I can see how this could be beneficial.
Now I ache, I am happy. I've got a pot of rice pudding bubbling on the stove and I am ready for bed. I'm just about ready to start tomorrow, a new week at Solarice. I could get used to this :)