Le Blues du Businessman

Test cake number 2 today... the flavor. Vanilla hazelnut cake with a chocolate hazelnut filling between the layers. It's been fun to make. Of course, while I am baking I am blasting the tunes. Today I am listening to old school Celine Dion. I grew up listening to Celine Dion and actually appreciate her music (I also know all the words so it's fun to belt out... to all my neighbors... sorry :) ). One of her songs 'le blues du businessman' remind me of life. I remember listening to it as a little girl and thinking that I never wanted to be like the businessman in this song. I've found the lyrics and translated them... I think it's a reminder to live life and live it like we want to live it. Or anyways that's what it is to me.

The blues of the businessman

I am successful in business
I am successful in love
I often change secretaries

I have my office in the top of a tower
From where I see the town upside down
From where I control my universe

I spent half of my live in the air
Between New York and Singapore
I always travel in first class

I have my second home
In all the Hilton's of the Earth
I can't accept the misery

I'm not happy, but I look like I am
I lost my sense of humor
Since I got my business sense

I succeeded and I am proud of it
In fact I only have one regret
It's not what I wanted to do

I wanted to be an artist
To be able to do my show
When the airplane touches the ground
In Rotterdame or Rio
I wanted to be a singer
To be able to shout who I am
I wanted to be an author
To be able to create my life
I wanted to be an actor
So I could always change my skin
And to find myself beautiful
On a big colour screen

I wanted to be an artist
So I could recreate my world
And live like a millionaire

I wanted to be an artist...
To talk about why I live.

Alright, so there's a reason why I am not a translator but you get the idea :) Filling is done! Time to work on the cake :)

But I am not anxious!!

So it would be really silly to have anxiety attacks when I am not anxious right? Well call me silly cuz I have had TWO anxiety attacks in the span of a week! Effff! The first one I just figured it was weird and it was just my body/mind reminding me what they were like... that they suck and it's a good thing I don't get them as often. But tonight, I woke up again... so spooked that I actually bolted to the kitchen (this is new... usually I just sit upright and look scared/possessed, hyperventilate a little then I realize what's happening and I can start taking care of myself). I must be quite scared if my reaction is to run. Especially that it's a feeling that comes from within me, therefore running is a little silly because, hey! it's following me. But anyways it's what I am doing now so I gotta deal with it. On the plus side, it has me that much closer to the washroom. Calming myself down includes (not necessarily in this specific order but this works best), having a drink of water, going to the washroom, listening to pretty music - usually Celtic, turning on the lights in my bedroom and staying awake. Falling asleep just triggers the feeling again... which sucks because already I'm buzzing with anxiousness. And I usually have to stay awake for 2 to 3 hours...
Judging by the deep blanket creases all over me, I must have been in one heck of a deep sleep. This sucks! I wanted to be well rested for tomorrow! 13 hours at folk fest in the hot sun is going to wear me out (or it did last year so I am getting ready). Plus, I'll be on call at work so I can't really afford to be tired. Oh well, I guess that's why there are naps in the sunshine.
Well instead of making this a painfully long and boring post, I am going to research why I am getting anxiety attacks. Just this week Mom said she heard that it could be a lack of protein... that COULD make sense because I am working out every other day for about two hours so my body probably needs more protein then it's getting (I didn't eat anything especially proteiney yesterday... so that could be why). I'll make sure to get some tofu sesame snacks to see if that helps. Also, before I fell asleep (and now actually) my right leg is all twitchy so there's got to be an insufficiency of something. Electrolytes?
Time to be that all annoying client that self diagnoses myself from Internet articles :) My nautropath will be proud when I see him Tuesday. Ha ha!

Folk Fest 2009!

Folk fest begins tonight!! I am so stoked! Vicki and her friend from back East won tickets through the Georgia Straight so they'll be joining (until 15 minutes ago, I thought I'd be going to to the festival on my own this year but I am SO glad that they won tickets!! No more studying in the sunshine for me! Ha!). Being work isn't overly busy, I didn't book it off. The venue is close enough that I will be able to enjoy folk fest while on call. Pretty awesome, I think so! Now I just wish I lived closer... Last year I remember being SO tired from spending all day in the sunshine and dancing that getting to Vicki's place was quite the feat (and she lives closer then I do!). We'll see about this year though maybe I won't be as tired.
Ok well I am off to go studying before I have to work and go to folk fest... so far so good. I did 5 hours straight of studying yesterday, applied at a whackload more places in Switzerland (I think I've run out of reputable resorts with Spas) and spent 2 hours at the gym. I'm back on track! Now I just have to keep it that way.

Quiet time...

Here I am again at the Irving Barber Study Hall at UBC. It was my home during most of my finals and I think it'll be my home for the next little while (at least until board exams). This morning it's the quietest that I've seen it. There are about 20 people (as opposed to 200) and it's SO quiet! I feel like if I were to shift on my couch it would make noise and bother people. I love it :) I've dragged myself here because... well for one I need to be closer to work in case I get called in and for two... less distractions.
I am getting quite frustrated with things. I got my 2nd 'thanks but no thanks' letter from Switzerland. The 2nd was just as polite as the 1st but it still sucks to receive them. I also have no clients today, which sucks because it's hard to make money when you don't have any clients. I'm ready to work but there's no work. Bah! Anyways I am keeping my phone close by. I guess this just reinforces how important it is to be an RMT (as they are busier then bodyworkers) so really it should be encouragement to study. But it's not. I am finding it hard to study. I just don't have the drive right now. I guess I am just a little too focused on Switzerland, which is and isn't a good thing. This is why I am at the study hall today. Hopefully a change of scene will help me get on track. I've promised myself that if I do two hours of studying then I can apply to two more places in Switzerland. Hopefully I'll be able to do two hours of studying and half an hour to an hour of applying places and then two hours of studying.... and continue like that until about 4 or 5ish then off to the gym to work out any frustrations (and tire my body our because there's nothing worse then going to bed, mind exhausted, but you're body is about to jump out of it's skin because you spent the majority of your day sitting on your ass, staring at a book).
Anyways, I better get to it!

Denied :(

I got my first "thanks but no thanks" e-mail from Switzerland. I applied at Badrutt's Palace as a massage therapist because lets face it... it's a stunning place. It most likely has very high standards for massage therapy so I'd be learning with leaps and bounds. Loving it too :) But last night after coming home from a wonderful night with the girls I got the e-mail.

"Dear Ms Fontaine

Thank you for your e-mail and for your interest in our hotel.

The Badrutt’s Palace Hotel is a seasonal opened alpine Resort Hotel. The hotel stays closed during the off-seasons in spring and autumn. The Youth Mobility Program requires a full time employment of at least 12 months to maximum 18 months and its combined with a special type of residence- and working permit so called Stagiaire permit. As a seasonal opened hotel we do not receive this type of permit from the Swiss foreigner police. Furthermore it’s our policy that all employees with regular Guest contact must be fluent in German, English and Italian.

We suggest you to contact City locations like hotels in Zürich, Geneva, Lucerne, etc

Thanks again for your interest and kind regards"

I wish all rejections were that polite. Luckily they got a couple of points wrong (unless I am confused, I will call the embassy to make sure I am not just doing this for nothing). From what I know, the Youth Mobility Program is usually for 12 months but there is no minimum and it can be extended to a maximum of 18 months (but you need to apply for the extension). I've never heard of a Stagiaire permit (and I looked ALL over the website) so will have to look into that... but I don't think it's necessary. I speak English and French so even if all the rest of the permit/visa stuff works out, I am shit out of luck when it comes to the languages. Oh well! I appreciate the e-mail and it's helped it make it a little bit more real for me.
It's a little fursterating on this end because that's the only e-mail I've recieved back. I've sent out my fair share of e-mails and will be running out of places to e-mail shortly. I figure it worse comes to worse, I can go for 90 days (which would have me there for my birthday, christmas and new years). The thing with that is that I would have to have enough money to do something like that. Which is fine. I am ready to work :) Unfortunately things are slow at work and I am lucky if I am getting one to two clients a day. I expected this so it doesn't come as a surprise. It's just frusterating when you want to work and there is no work. I've applied for a part time job so I can work monday, tuesday, wednesday. Eeefffffff!!! I want to find a money tree or something! Or a job in Switzerland because realistically, I want to work. I enjoy what I do so I want to massage. Oh well. Gotta keep positive.

Keeping my eye on the prize

So no response with my first application so I am trying three more places that I would love to work at! *fingers crossed*

*Photo of St. Moritz... wow.

Hot

This much hair during the summer time is really hot! I miss my short hair.

And yeah my hair is that out of control if I don't do anything about it... craziness!